What The Heart Wants
by Monkey and Music Lover
Summary: Cuddy accept a marriage proposal, but finds herself completely heart broken. House has left and he took her heart with him, can she possible get it back? Angst. Rated T for langauge. Luddy. Huddy
1. Colorless

**Disclaimer: I do not House, or else Cuddy's character would not be such a.... URGH**

**A/N: Alright....well I'm sure alot of you are like "WHAT IS THIS CRAZY LADY DOING POSTING ANOTHER STORY" well I was about to update one of my other stories when I saw the ep and got depressed so I wrote this depressing little thing. It might not be too long it might be still thinking lolol. But yeah SORRY! I am going to update Here We Go Again really soon since thats the story I have the majority finished in and then Reunion Catastrophe.... I really need to start on Missing Link though lol and the next NEW story I post is going to be from a challenge lol. But yea SORRY dont worry I am getting better at using my time wisely. I write my chapters through out the week praying for one to get done lol. Oh and I didnt update anything this weekend cuz we were celebrating my birthday hehe I'm old now haha jk. Still a rambuncous teenager lol.**

**Well anyways, thanks to my temp. beta **lenasti16** for beta-ing this last minute and I hope you all like it. Sorry for any OOCness and this is going to be very angst.**

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Cuddy stared out at the large window in her office. Her face wore an expression of shock as she tried to take in everything that had happened just moments ago. She looked at the ring of her finger and closed her eyes and thinned her lips as a tear escaped. So what she did actually happened? And the look of hurt on House's face was actually real. She had accepted a marriage proposal from Lucas Douglas P.I. This was too surreal.

She sat in her chair and put her head in her hands as the moment replayed over and over in her head. The look on House's face nearly killed her and suddenly the rest was a haze and she found herself in her office. Had she really hurt him that bad? Maybe he deserved it for hurting her. But still, something inside her ached as the hurt on House's face stayed glued in her mind.

--

_She walked into the Clinic after being paged. She looked around worriedly and found Lucas standing there, smiling as he held out roses to her. She gave small, weak smile as she realized that there was no real emergency in the clinic._

_"Lucas, what are you doing?" She asked as she graciously accepted the flowers._

_She set them aside for a moment as Lucas called for everyone's attention and took her hand. She bit her lip thinking that this was all a dream or a hallucination maybe even a nightmare, but it was real. She felt him hold her hand tightly as he pulled out a beautiful, onyx leather box out of his pocket._

_"Lisa," He asked as his eyes twinkled. "Will you marry me?"_

_Cuddy's eyes grew wide as tears – she assumed were of joy – formed in her eyes. She nodded weakly and felt as if someone were doing it for her. She saw Lucas smile brightly as he came up and put the ring on her finger while giving her a big kiss. They separated into an embraced and she saw him._

_House was standing just a few feet away with his brows furrowed. The twinkle and color that had enchanted his eyes had suddenly disappeared from sight. His eyes were now dull and colorless, as if a gray crayon had colored over the beauty. She saw him swallow hard, knowing he was trying to conceal his hurt and she wanted to go to him and hold his hand in reassurance and help him, but she couldn't. She felt numb. She felt as if she had lost all control and movement in her body._

_House's posture stood straight in pride and his brows furrowed deeper with meaning as he tried to camouflage the hurt that threaten to scar his face. He gave a small and weak nod as he put the patient file in his hand down and quickly limped away towards his office to hide for a little before heading home for the weekend._

_Cuddy was at a lost for words. Her mouth was suddenly dry and her vocabulary was abruptly restricted. She tried to call out but instead all that escaped was a gasp as she came back to life and pulled away from Lucas. She got several congratulations and cheerful looks from her employees. Wilson, though, looked disappointed at her as he turned and walked away. She felt Lucas kiss her cheek and didn't understand him when he said he had to leave to do his job. She watched as he left and involuntarily walked into her office. She leaned on the door as she locked it and found her way slowly and weakly to her desk._

--

She sat at her desk and held her head in hands as she began to feel a pang of hurt tightening in her chest. The look on House's face was too unbearable. Maybe if she gave him a week off he'd have time to relax and get used to the idea. She knew that she couldn't face him again if he had that face every time he looked at her. She felt as if she had just stabbed a knife straight through his back, through his lung and into his heart. Then she twisted it until he cried out in pain.

She looked down in remorse and noticed a few drops of water that had stained her papers. She felt her cheek and suddenly realized she had been crying. This time she wasn't so sure if they were tears of joy or tears of hurt and sadness. She wiped her face and cheek and got up and unevenly walked to her bathroom to fix herself up.

--

House sat in his office and stared out the window as he was not able to get a wink of sleep. His blinds were left wide open and the door was welcoming everyone in. He didn't care if she found him there doing nothing. He didn't care if she threatened to fire him. Hell, he didn't care if she did anything anymore. He was too hurt.

He knew they were getting serious, but he never expected them to be engaged. He thought that, he thought that she'd never leave. She was his constant in his life and he wanted it to stay that way. Now it was different. She was a variable now, able to do whatever the hell she wants. A variable without a solution and that would leave the expression open and unanswered. And being the infamous Dr. Gregory House, he did not want to leave a single question, equation, expression, or problem unanswered.

He had so many questions to bombard her with, but it wasn't the time. He didn't eve know if he could face her again. He didn't mind change to much anymore, but this change was too big. It was too big and hitting him too fast.

He knew that Cuddy would probably be happy with Lucas, but it wasn't fair. He hadn't even gotten his fair chance. Well, not a fair second chance. Lucas got two chances and yet he only got one. When he finally decided to take his second chance Lucas comes into the picture and takes it right away. Was this a sign? Were the gods that he didn't believe in not wanted him and Cuddy to be together? Were they really just that cruel?

He looked at the time and saw that it was 3:45. That was probably close enough to 5 for him to leave. He had no case, no clinic duty and no one would miss him. He gathered his things quickly and limped out the back door trying to avoid any confrontation with either Wilson or Cuddy. All he wanted to do now was to go home and relax. Unwind and get his mind off of all the events that were unwinding before his very eyes.

--

After calming down a bit, Cuddy found a quick and easy excuse to talk to House. She could talk to him about a simple case and subtly get his opinion on Lucas and the engagement. Though she didn't know why she cared. She needed a man to be there for her everyday and that was Lucas. Still, she'd feel guilty not asking House. She'd feel like she was stabbing the knife deeper into his heart.

She walked up to his office and found the ducklings being bored while House's office was empty. She walked in and found his stuff missing and realized he had ditched work. She felt a pang of hurt as House returned the stab, but not as deep a wound as she had given him. In due time, though, she knew he'd find a way to pay her back for the pain she had just caused him.

She turned on her heel as she hid her small pang of hurt and quickly walked into the elevator. As the doors closed, she could see House's face haunting her once more. Her heart twisted as it became clearer to her. House was truly in love with her and she hadn't even given him an impartial opportunity. As a tear slipped down her cheek she came to realize, that that's what hurt her the most.

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**A/N: Well there you have it, my first angst story... kinda lol. Well I'm not depressed anymore but I might continue this story if you guys want me to. Like I said I'm going to update another story first though. lol I hope you all liked it. Please Review!**

-Jess


	2. Gone

**Disclaimer: I do not House, or else Cuddy's character would not be such a.... URGH**

**A/N: Here's the second chapter I promised, it might be a little depressing obviously. Well like an old friend **Miss Cuddles** used to say: you cant go up till you reach the very rock bottom. Something along those lines lol. I'm going to follow that rule for this story, but my rock bottom might not be as sad as most of you think lol. Oh and thank you to all the readers the reviewed the last chapter. ^^ Now this story is definately going on.**

**Thanks AGAIN to my temp. beta **lenasti16** for beta-ing this so very quickly! I'd also like to thank my friend** Rei** for giving me some depressing ideas. Heheh sorry for any OOCness and I hope you all like it!**

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The weekend dwindled away quickly. Cuddy barely left her room, unless to tend to Rachel, trying to think of a way to talk to House. She had never seen him so devastated. He seemed almost lost, as if he was in the store with his mother and she disappeared from sight. She often had to calm herself down and stop herself from calling him, in case he just needed a little bit of space.

On Monday, Cuddy used every excuse she could find to stay in the lobby and waited for House to come in. Her stomached churned with butterflies as she began to get anxious. What if he was still hurt? What if that sad, dull look had scarred his face? She wouldn't be able to live with herself and might lose the courage to talk to him.

She had to suck it up though. She assured herself that after talking to him she'd feel much better, but as the time passed the thought began to wither away, slowly turning into nothing but a dream. But she continued to will herself to stay. She didn't want to see his eyes dull and lifeless. She'd do anything to see the joy and excitement brought back.

As more time passed and the morning slowly eased into afternoon Cuddy glanced at the time realizing that she had missed her lunch break. She also remembered she had skipped breakfast, trying to get to work early in case House might be depressed enough to come on time or maybe even earlier. She ignored her hunger though. She desperately needed to talk to House, give him the chance she had selfishly pulled away and ignored.

The time continued to pass by little by little and her hunger was quickly turning into anger as she realized it was almost 2pm and House still hadn't arrived. He was late, but never this late. She gave a quick growl and furrowed her eyes as she swiftly turned on her heel and began to march back to her office. Before she could get in, she was stopped by a nearby nurse. She turned angrily, holding herself from picking on the poor by standing. Cuddy noticed the nurse suddenly look in fright as she swallowed considering to say never mind. Cuddy tapped her foot impatiently urging the nurse to hurry.

"Are you looking for Dr. House," The nurse stammered timidly. "I noticed you waiting and thought you might be." Cuddy then crossed her arms waiting for any information the nurse might have. "I saw him here yesterday. He said he was putting a letter of resignation somewhere on your desk and then left to pack up his office."

Cuddy gasped inaudible as her anger turned into worry and disbelief. As if reading her mind, the nurses nodded in confirmation. She quickly turned to and walked briskly out of the clinic and up the stairs, knowing the elevator might take too long. She walked to House's office and found that what the nurse had said was true. His team was covering the furniture with a cover to shield it from any dust and Cuddy saw House's office nearly empty.

She didn't want to believe it though. It hurt too much to believe that he'd actually left. She walked into his office and surveyed the area. His personal belongings were gone making the office look clean and neat, but very empty. All that was left was what the hospital had ordered and owned. She put her hand where the giant tennis ball used to lay and shivered as she felt the cold glass.

Cuddy took deep breaths as she, for the time being, kept her emotions in check. Her knees felt weak as if they'd collapse and the water in her eyes grew heavier as they urged her to let out all the contained sadness. All her worries and fears from the weekend and this morning flooded back as she came to realization that he was gone. He had left when he knew she wouldn't be around so she couldn't stop him. She couldn't do anything to change his mind or actions.

She cleared her throat as she stood up straight and put on the poker face she had been practicing for years. She walked her normal stride to the elevator and through the lobby but her knees began to weaken once more as she came closer to her office.

She stumbled clumsily and weakly into her sanctuary. She leaned against her door as she locked it and closed the blinds before walking to her desk and resting her head feebly in her hands. Her mind was zooming everywhere as the realization that House was really gone and out of her life. She suddenly felt as if a weight was added onto her already heavy chest. She had a feeling her heart would scream in pain any minute, but soon realized that it had disappeared with the rest of House's belongings. Tears began to quickly cascade down her eyes and onto the papers she was too dazed to read.

Her stomach growled loudly as her poor decision of skipping meals came back to get her. She ignored it though, she refused to go out and let her employees see her so fragile and even if she didn't care she'd be too exhausted to stand up let alone walk down to the cafeteria to get a quick bite.

She slowly stood from her desk and staggered to her office couch light headedly. She lay down as her tears began to fall from her eyes. She felt as if the water in her eyes were relentlessly and infinite. Her eyes began to fall heavily closed but the tears would not stop.

--

She slowly opened her eyes and found House staring at her with his brow cocked. Cuddy looked up and down at him and saw that he was wearing his old 1800s costume. She noticed that her hair was curled and she was wearing her Jane Fonda outfit. She saw the confused face on House and sent her own questioning look as they danced to Time after Time.

"I said I remember the last time we danced the week we met and you said no, then zoned out." House stated as they continued to dance slowly and peacefully to the music.

Cuddy smiled and nodded. "Yeah we met before that, in a bookstore," She stated with a smile gracing her lips as she saw the dullness in his eyes were replaced with excitement and she swore she saw a twinkle. She raised her arms around his neck and continued after hearing his low 'ah'. "My third day of school, I hand my syllabus to the guy behind the counter. He barely looks at me and just skims the sheet and tells me I'm overly ambitious, have a chip on my shoulder and I know how to party." She smiled again and gave a soft laugh.

"I forgotten you knew how to party," He stated causing her to laugh once more.

She tilted her head as she gazed lovingly into his eyes. "I said you're making that up. You said your class schedule is over loaded, but you have none of your classes are before eleven and no one takes Professor Lamb's course unless they have something to prove."

"It was Professor Seagle; remember Professor Lamb was the easy grader." House corrected her but was soon interrupted.

"I tracked you down," She smiled once more. "Endocrinology, party…" She left off.

"And one thing led to another," House finished as their magical dance seemed to last forever.

Cuddy remembered what had happened the last time, or what had happened in her daze, and decided to take another course in the conversation. She simply smiled and nodded in agreement as she laid her head on his shoulder, not wanting to ruin the moment. She felt him kiss her hair and she closed her eyes as she tried to capture the blissful moment to memory.

--

Cuddy slowly opened her eyes and found herself on her office couch. She jolted up and looked on her hand to find the ring resting perfectly on her finger. Tears began to drip from her cheeks once more as the realization that it was all a dream settled in her mind. She grabbed a photo off her coffee table and held it to her chest. Her tears dripped from her cheek and onto the Polaroid picture of her and House studying for their endocrinology midterms 20 years ago. Now she had no one to share that memory with, no one but herself.

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**A/N: There is the second depressing chapter. It hurt me a little to write this. Haha and it took forever trying to memorize those lines from the episode, well it was for me at least. If you thought this was sad, wait till the next chapter. Wilson is going to give one harsh speech. I get hurt from thinking about it lol. I hope you all liked it and please review!!**

-Jess


	3. Decisions

**Disclaimer: I do not House, or else Lucas would be married and totally uninterested in Cuddy XD**

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and added me to something. :D I really appriciate it and I encourage all you closet readers to review. I tried my best to make this chapter as sad as possible but some how I couldn't get in the groove. I also tried to make Wilson has harsh as possible but I forgot almost half the stuff I had planned on having him say but i hope he was still as harsh as possible, and if you have any ideas on how he can be harsher please do tell. Sorry for any OOC-ness and special thanks to my last minute Beta** Americanchick **for beta-ing so quick.**

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Cuddy couldn't think of the last time she had been so distracted her work began piling itself up in mere hours. She watched as her staff came in and out, ignoring her red rimmed eyes, as they placed papers on her desk that she attempted to read and go over. It seemed as if time had stopped even though the world around her was still going on, she found herself stuck and unable to move. Every time the door opened she found herself disappointed to see that it was everyone on her staff except the one man that really mattered at the moment.

After an hour she dropped the paper in her hand forcefully back onto the table as she gave up trying to read it. She let a few tears drop down her face as she realized how hard her job really was. But how was she supposed to work in these conditions? No one was barging in. No one was asking her for ridiculous procedures. No one annoyed her, challenged her, or kept her on her feet. There was a void in her life she hadn't noticed till the man that was filling it disappeared. She hated it when he was around to distract her from her important work, but she hated it more when he wasn't around. When he wasn't there to defy her or keep her wit to its high. She felt abandoned, lost. She seemed out of place when he wasn't there. She didn't feel like she belonged at PPTH anymore, especially since he wasn't there anymore.

She abruptly stood up from her desk, not being able to be in her own office with House's resignation staring her in the face, and took quick strides to the elevator. She rode it up quietly as she contained herself for a few seconds. She exited quickly and took long strides to a familiar door. She stopped in front of it, took a deep breath and made sure her tears could stay contained for the few minutes she'd need. She knocked a little too quietly, but she still heard a faint 'come in.' She opened it slowly and bit her lip as she gave her best friend a weak smile. She took a seat in front of him and looked down before she opened her mouth to speak, but he had beaten her to the punch.

"I'm not telling you where House is," Wilson told her firmly as he kept his eyes on the documents in front of him. When he heard no response, he looked up at her and cocked a knowing brow. "That is why you came right? You thought that after hurting my best friend and pushing him out of your life so far that he can't even stand to see you without having the feeling that his heart was slowly being ripped to pieces that I'd tell you? Oh and did I mention that it hurt him so much he decided to just leave so that he wouldn't have to suffer anymore and maybe get a tiny bit of happiness in his life after spending three months at a psychiatric hospital so he could change for you and then have you reject him the second he tries." Wilson spat out angrily as he sent her a small glare. "If I'm wrong please tell me." He added sarcastically.

Cuddy looked down regretfully and bit her lip harder taking in all the information she was ignorant about until she felt a drop of blood drip onto her tongue. "Wilson, I didn't mean to. I," She paused she looked up with sadness in her eyes, "I didn't know." A few tears slipped down her cheeks. She didn't think her personal decisions would affect House so much, especially after Mayfield. She half hoped that he might have matured and would have been happy for her instead of hurt beyond all belief.

Wilson scoffed in disbelief and rolled his eyes are her still very angry. "Cut the crap Cuddy," Wilson told her uncharacteristically harsh. "You know damn well that everything you were doing had affected House. You even told me so yourself. You said for once you made a decision in your life and didn't care how it affected House or me. That obviously means you knew it affected him and you didn't bother to take him into consideration. You didn't care back then why the hell do you care now?" He lashed out at her. "Is it because now he's gone? You weren't planning on that were you Lisa. Did you really think he'd wait for you for the rest of your life? Did you think that even after you got married with Lucas he'd continue to pursue you? If you did, then you are more idiotic then I ever thought. He loved you for god's sakes Lisa and you didn't care did you. You said you needed a man who was reliable and made the decision in your head that it was Lucas and no one else. Even after House had proved that you could count on him thick and thin you already had you mind set and you didn't care anymore." He went on. "Did you even think about Rachel? If you haven't noticed Cuddy she seems to prefer House more than Lucas." He took a pause as he noticed Cuddy begin to sob.

She shook as Wilson's harsh words cut her deep because she knew they were all true. She had known that House was trying and she ignored him. She was supposed to give people chances. House had told her once that she saw people for more than who they really were and that he respected her then, as if on purpose, she did the complete opposite of the flattering statement and quickly made the decision that House couldn't be trusted or relied on.

"Do you want to know why House didn't like Rachel when you first got her?" Wilson asked a bit softer causing Cuddy to look up at him as he stood in front of her as he leaned on his desk. "He was jealous. He thought Rachel would take you away from the hospital and he felt threatened. He didn't want you out of his life even for just a week." Wilson explained. "Then when he found out the kind of guy you were looking for as a single mother he set aside all his set judgments about Rachel and opened up to let her in thinking that you'd see he's changed. He changed for you Cuddy. The man went through everything thinking that if he changed into something you wanted that you'd at least give him a chance. Have you not noticed him for the past six months?" He paused and waited to see if she'd answer. "He's been trying everything to get your attention." He continued not hearing a response. "If you haven't noticed he was in the Clinic for a reason. He was there because he knew you wanted someone responsible and he thought that doing clinic duty like he was supposed to instead of having you track him down would prove to you that he was responsible. For god's sakes Cuddy, he went to the last fundraiser by choice and he even behaved. That man has practically gone through a complete transformation trying to get your attention and to prove something to you but you don't seem to care! You wouldn't even glance his way unless you were having speaking to each other directly."

"Stop it," Cuddy begged quietly as the tears were now cascading down her face uncontrollably. "Please Wilson," She continued to sob and sniff as his words cut deeper into the hole where her heart used to be. "Stop," She couldn't look at Wilson anymore. Her eyes were glued to the floor and she felt too ashamed to take them off.

"No," Wilson responded firmly. "You need to hear this Lisa. You told me once that he was too immature to make any kind of connection with anyone. What about you? Why did you choose Lucas? Because he drove hours to take care of Rachel _once_, for the past few months Lisa, House has been coming over at any time of the night to watch Rachel, whether it was so you and Lucas could go on a date or just because you asked him to. Why Lucas too? He doesn't know how to control his mouth to save his life. You know how much it hurt House to have his hallucination announced to the whole restaurant back at the conference?" Wilson stared down at her as she continued to sob. "And if you haven't noticed yet, he'd do anything to make you happy. You think he is a selfish, uncaring, heartless man. You know if he was so heartless he would have spent months trying to ruin your wedding with Lucas or he'd try to psyche you out of marrying him or something, instead he left. He didn't just leave for himself but he thought it'd be easier for you. He thought that it might make you happy to get rid of the most annoying, narcissistic, arrogant, son of a bitch this hospital had."

"Wilson, please stop this. I get it." She sobbed as she began to feel a twist in her chest. She felt hollow inside as her friend's words began to sink deeper and deeper into her skin. If she'd known that House cared so much, maybe she would have done things differently. But she did know. Somewhere in her mind she knew how much House cared but she refused to pay any attention to it. She thought that she was doing the right thing by taking House out of her life, but for the past 6 months and even when he was in Mayfield, Cuddy felt herself disappearing slowly into the abyss.

"No, Lisa, you don't get it. You didn't just hurt him, you practically killed him. You killed everything he was and I'm not going to help you kill his future too. If you really want to know where House is, prove that you care." Wilson bargained. "Prove that, when you find him you won't just try to drag him back here kicking and screaming to help get donors to donate. Prove that you're actually going to give him a chance and that you care maybe even love him. Until then, try to get your private investigator fiancée to find him. I doubt he will." Wilson began to gather his things.

Cuddy had finally stopped sobbing and heard the negotiation. She did want to find House. She wanted to talk to him. Hear all the things that Wilson said come from his sweet lips. To see the sincerity of his words from his deep, ocean blue eyes. She just wanted him back, even if he only wanted to come back to make her life hell, she wanted him back. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she saw Wilson began to leave and grabbed his arm stopping him.

"How," She asked hopefully.

"I don't know," Wilson told her coldly brushing off her beg. He saw her avert her eyes downward. He sighed and gave her a small clue on what she had to do first, and most important, to prove that she was serious about getting House back in her life – her personal life not just her work life. "But I do know that you can't have a relationship with him if you're married." He clued her in and saw her look up at him with a small, gracious, but nervous, smile. "I have to go, I have a patient." He told her softly as he pulled away from her and left her alone to ponder everything he had just told her.

Cuddy went back to her office, calmer than she had been an hour ago, and sat on her couch contemplating what to do. If she breaks it off with Lucas, she could be missing her chance to be happy, have two kids, a dog and retire in Florida. But if she never saw House again, never heard his voice, looked into his magical eyes, or heard any of his ridiculous jokes she didn't know if she'd be able to stay sane let alone live the happy life she and Lucas had planned. She loved both men so much. Lucas has been there for her since they met but House has gone through a mental and almost physical change just for a _chance_ to be with her. He had chosen to be the man with Cuddy instead of the man with the answers. He chose her, so wouldn't it be fair that she chose him? Then again, his agonizing, chest wrenching pain could be temporary and happening only because it was all a plan. She's broken up with men before and she's felt really bad after it, missing them instantly and that could be the case with House. Though, she has never felt this upset. She'd be throwing her life, family and future away if she broke it off with Lucas and ended up being miserable or unsuccessful with House. But as Wilson proved, she shouldn't be jumping to conclusions so fast. Why did she always need to think that any relationship with House would end in flames? That's what created this situation in the first place.

She was so conflicted she began to feel sick. She groaned as she rested her head in her arms and bit her lip trying to think of the pros and cons. What if her relationship with House was better than any relationship she would have ever dreamt of? What if she stayed with Lucas and lost House forever, then she wouldn't even know what it feels like to have a relationship with House. She'd always wonder what if. But she would have wondered that anyway if she broke it off with Lucas, that is of course unless her life with House was everything she wanted and maybe even more.

There was a sudden knock at the door that pulled Cuddy from her thoughts. The doors opened and revealed Lucas with Rachel and some beautiful lilies. Cuddy smiled brightly and forgot about House for a second seeing what she'd be living with if she just stayed with Lucas. She grinned as she stole Rachel away from Lucas and began to play with the toddler in her arms as Lucas watched happily. She smiled back at him and imagined them at the park all together having a family picnic. It was the life Cuddy had dreamed of. The life that her mother wanted her to have and the life her sister already achieved. She looked so happy with her husband and kids, maybe Cuddy would feel complete if she had her own. She gave Lucas a soft kiss on the cheek as she continued to play with her little 17 month old baby.

As she handed Rachel off for Lucas to play with for a little she smiled and her attention was brought back to the Polaroid picture on her table. Her smile disappeared and was replaced with a look of distress. She quickly hid it from her fiancée's view and stood up as they got ready to depart for lunch. They decided to eat in the cafeteria so Cuddy left all her things and followed Lucas out.

In the Clinic Cuddy saw Wilson keeping a close eye on her as he took mental notes on everything she did to see if he could really trust her with his best friend's soul. He shook his head to himself and knew that Cuddy saw it. She took it as a disappointed and disapproving look and sent him a look that begged for some time. Wilson sighed, hating himself for his caring heart, and nodded. He wouldn't give her too much time though. If she really loved House she'd have the answer in a matter of days and if it took any longer than that, then it was obvious she was going to fail the test and he would simply refuse to tell her the location of his best friend.

Cuddy sighed, a look of relief as she saw Wilson pull through on his caring side and gave her some time to maul over the options. She put on a façade of joy in front of her small family as they ate lunch. She smiled and laughed but found herself slowly growing sadder and sadder on the inside as she realized the decision she was going to have to make: A perfect family or a dysfunctional family.

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**A/N: There it is, the set for the plot. Please let me know your thoughts and if you have any ideas please tell me and I will incorporate them in the best I can. Please tell me if it can be anymore angst. All your reviews are appriciated and loved!**

-Jessica


	4. The Necklace

**Disclaimer: I do not House**

**A/N: Well this is super short so I must apologize but i wrote this RIGHT after finishing another chapter last night and I didn't realize it was done (and some how mistake free) until I read over the last paragraph this morning. Thank you again to even who reviewed and I'm sorry if this is going down hill still, Cuddy ticked me off in the last episode so I kinda wanna torture her a lil in this story xD haha don't worry though, as our awesome lead actress, Lisa Edelstien, has said House and Cuddy [Are the true lovers] and don't you forget it!!!! Well I hope you all like this little Angst chapter**

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Cuddy had avoided Wilson for the next three days until she had finally came up with her decision. She bit her lip as she stared at the two picture frames on her desk. One was the Polaroid of her and House while the other was a picture of her family with Lucas. She shakily grabbed one, closed her eyes and let a single tear drop as she put it face down on her desk, deciding to put that part of her life in the past. She felt more tears fall down her cheeks as she realized what she was doing could be the biggest mistake of her life and it finally dawned on her that once she made this life changing choice that she would never be able to go back on it until the consequences were made clear and unchangeable.

Her doors opened and she quickly wiped what few tears escaped and looked up to see her friend Wilson looking like his normal, kind self. "Hey Cuddy, what's up?" He asked as he closed the door with a file in his hand and sat in front of Cuddy's desk.

She took a few deep breaths before she gained the strength to tell him her decision. "I chose Lucas," She said shakily as she scanned her friend for any show of emotion. She saw him simply smile and nod his head.

"Okay," He said simply. "I was actually talking about the budget reports but that's also good to know."

"Okay? That's all? You gave me a lecture and I give you the answer you obviously _don't_ want and you give me an okay?" She questioned suspiciously.

"Cuddy, I may not completely agree with your choice but I can't control you." Wilson told her understandingly. "Not even House believed you'd even consider him, but knowing you at least took a day to think of him made him feel a little better." This statement made Cuddy look up at Wilson perplexed and bit her lip to stop herself from crying, even in a little joy. "I told him about our conversation. He didn't really leave until about two days go." Wilson saw Cuddy's brows furrow partly in anger. "He said he didn't think you'd choose him and said he appreciates that you at least thought of him for a second." Wilson went on. "He also convinced me to just be happy for you and Lucas because obviously Lucas makes you happy and as your friends both he and I are happy for you."

Cuddy thinned her lips at the thought of House being unselfish and letting her be happy. She knew the consequences wouldn't wait to come. She regretted her choice already, but she reminded herself that Lucas was a wonderful man and would be an even more wonderful father and husband. Her feelings for House would slowly fade away she continued to assure herself. This was only temporary, like a break up it hurts but the pain slowly goes away as time heals all wounds. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Wilson snap his fingers.

"I almost forgot," Wilson stood up and left the room for a moment. He returned after a few minutes and Cuddy had been waiting anxiously while silently hoping that it was something to help her get through the, hopefully, short period of hurt. "House told me to give this to you," He gave her a small leather box she had never seen before. "And ask you if you wanted this before I threw it away. I don't know why, but he said he couldn't really keep these."

Cuddy put the leather box down for a moment, afraid of what might be in it, and searched the containments of the box. She was shocked to find pictures, letters, memories and everything that had to do with Michigan and their passed. She saw things she didn't even recognize and then saw some sheet music. She read the title of the composition 'Cuddy's Serenade' and she bit her lip once more trying not to care. Why was House torturing her with all these? She shakily reached for the box afraid of what might have been in there. She opened it slowly and saw a necklace she had been missing for the passed 20 years. It was a necklace her grandmother had given her before she died and tears began to pass through her eyes. She took out a small note attached to it the inside of the box and hesitated before she read the letter.

_Dear Cuddy,_

_Sorry I didn't give this back to you a few years ago. I was looking through that box of stuff and found it. Thought you'd like it back after 20 years. You left it at the party and I got it before someone could pass it off as theirs. Well just take it as an early Wedding Present. It's washed, polished and good as new. Live, love and be happy._

_Yours truly,  
Gregory House_

Cuddy looked at the necklace with happiness as tears of joy escaped. It really did look brand new. The chair looked shinier than it did the first time she got it and the small jewels looked as if they had been replaced with much more beautiful and expensive ones. She could even read the engraving on the back that she had struggled for the few years to read. It said 'Live, love and be happy' like the end of House's letter. A single tear fell from her cheek and Cuddy could no longer tell if it was from regret or happiness.

"So do you want this box or am I just going to send it to the dumpster or charity?" Wilson asked which pulled her out of her trance. He knew what her answer would be but decided to ask in case she couldn't take it.

"No, its fine I'll take it," Cuddy said acting as thought it were a favor and not something she desperately wanted to do. "Thank you." She told him as she continued to search through the things.

Wilson got up and nodded and knew that it wasn't the right time to talk about work. He left her alone to look and reminisce the old days. He quietly shut the door, not to attract any attention away from Cuddy's activity and went to his office.

Cuddy looked through the photos and found several she didn't recognize let alone knew it was being taken. She flipped through them and laughed and smiled and even shed a tear or two at the memory. She turned to one particular picture and suddenly froze. It was a picture of her and House at a party dancing together. The event that had led to their one night stand, her eyes was closed and her head was rested peacefully on his shoulder. His arms were wrapped possessively around her waist and she hadn't noticed because of her eyes being closed, but House was staring at her while they danced and she could see the love and admiration that glowed from his eyes. There was a faint, but loving smile. She wanted to commit this one photo to memory before she had to bury it away with the rest of her memories with House.

She slowly turned to the next photo and it was the same party. She looked ahead and saw there were at least 5 photos from the dance. The second one had been House glaring at the camera man for taking the photo but he hadn't stopped dancing with her. He wanted that moment to end as much as she did.

She turned to the next one and saw House's eyes closed as he buried his face in her hair and danced with her lovingly. The peace and serene in his face pulled her heartstrings and she felt a glimmer of sadness.

She then turned to the next photo and saw was just House without her – probably before she even arrived at the party or before they met up – and he was staring down the hall at someone. His eyes glimmered and there was a small twinkle that the camera had successfully shot. She looked at the background and realized that was where she had 'bumped' into House and then she looked at the time at the clock in the background. It was just the time she came into the party. She wished to herself she had seen this picture sooner.

She regretfully turned to the last picture from the party and saw that it was of her and House as they shared their fateful kiss one the dance floor. That was it. That was the last she could take and the tears that welled up in her eyes began to cascade down her face once more. She closed her eyes as she remembered the kiss. It was warm and loving and soft and sweet. She had wished it to never end but was happy where it had led to. When she heard rumors that he had been expelled the very next day she had been so upset but decided to try to move on, though it was pretty hard.

She put the pictures back in the box and decided she couldn't look at anything else that day. She hid the box under her desk as she suddenly couldn't lock it away. Cuddy held her hand over her mouth as she began to silently sob realizing that House was probably trying to torture her. When she knew House would surely get her back for hurting him so badly she didn't think he'd go this far. But why should she blame him? It could have been all an innocent mistake. He couldn't live with the past, with any memory of her and wanted them to go away. He knew she'd never get rid of them like Wilson offered. It was too hard for her to give away such sweet but short memories.

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**A/N: There it is, ik I kinda skipped the thinking process but it wouldn't have really taken that long, like I stated in the last chapter in Wilson's speech Cuddy already has her mind set and she is as stubborn a a mule... (no offense to mules) LOL I hope you all still like it and are reading. Your reviews are encouraging and if you have any suggestions on how to make it sadder tell me because for now there is nothing back dooown hiiill.**

-Jessica


	5. Flight 279

**Disclaimer: I do not House**

**A/N: Okay well I know I said that I wouldnt be updating SUPER fast like I usually did but thanks to Wilson in last night's ep I had the courage and will to stay up late (even though I knew I could get grounded) so I could write this :D I love Wilson SOOO much right now! :D :D:D:D:D:D:D I would have posted this sooner but I had to stay after school to help with this thing and then since I helped so much I knew where everything went so I had to clean too XD haha well I hope you all like this**

**I'd like to give a special thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed so far and thanks to my beta** Americanchick** for beta-ing so quickly. This isnt COMPLETELY angst but there are some angst parts**

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The first day she had planned to meet the wedding planner, Lucas was luckily available to come too. They drove in content silence as Rachel napped in the back, oblivious to the fact that her mother was getting married. They pulled up to a large building and Lucas smiled as he gave Cuddy's hand a squeeze and she returned his gesture.

Ever since she had gotten back her necklace she hasn't taken it off. She looks at it every morning and every night as she admired the beauty, simplicity and antiquity of the piece of jewelry hanging around her neck. She often found herself thinking of the man that had rightfully kept it safe for her, but forced herself to push away any thoughts that might be anywhere near him.

Cuddy went into the back of the car and retrieved her daughter before she followed her fiancée into the large building where they were met up by the wedding planner's assistant – of the month. They were immediately led into the large room, where the planner had been waiting for them and they took seats in the comfy, cushioned chairs in front of the desk.

Though at times she got a little stressed and sometimes doubted the wedding, she felt calmer as she sat in the office with her soon-to-be husband. It seemed like a nightmare ever since Lucas proposed but as the thought settled in and as she realized what she was doing – just as she thought – she was becoming more confident with her chose and was slowly _trying_ to forget House.

"Hello what can I do for you today?" The professional woman asked as she finally got off the phone and turned her full attention to the couple that sat in front of her.

"What can you not do for me," Lucas joked with a smile as he noticed the attractive woman behind the desk.

This caused Cuddy to let out a soft chuckle. That was something House would have said to her if she had answered him like that, though she could picture House saying it more seriously and wagging his eye brows suggestively at her as she amused him with a quick witty response.

_'No Lisa, stop it.'_ Her mind scolded her, as it did many times when she recalled or thought of House. _'You gave him a chance and he didn't really want them. That time in his office, in Michigan, after the hostage situation, that one valentine he wrecked her date and a whole other bunch of times. He got more than a fair chance and he was just being a big baby because he saw a kid play with a toy he didn't want so he just had to have it.'_

Cuddy sat in the chair and had no idea what the young woman and Lucas were saying. They could have been exchanging wedding vows and saying they love each other and she wouldn't have noticed, nor did she think she'd care. She was much too preoccupied battling with her own mind.

'Well you can't count _all_ those times against him. I mean he was a little…crazy. He had to go to Mayfield. After Stacy left him, he was completely different man. He needed a little boast in the trust and love department.' Cuddy thought to herself.

_'In Michigan he sure as hell wasn't crazy. And stop trying to make yourself feel bad. He has gotten many chances and you were moving on. It's normal. Human nature, it's in your programming. Your world does not revolve around him.'_ The voice lectured her.

'Well no, but I had just as many chances as he's had. And he said that in Michigan he was going to call, but then he got expelled. Who knows, if he hadn't he might have called. He and I could have talked a little. We could have been something. We both needed to give it a chance and when he was finally on the same page as I was, I was on the page with another man.' She argued.

_'That's the point.'_ The voice nearly screamed. _'You are supposed to move on. You aren't supposed to wait on him. This isn't a children's fairy tale book Lisa, this is real life and in real life there is no such thing as one true love – a soul mate.'_

'Yeah, but still there could be if you want there to be and if it were Greg who moved on I know I wouldn't be the happiest camper ever.' She thought and something suddenly snapped in her brain. 'What the hell am I doing? Am I arguing with myself?' She groaned. "God, I must be going crazy." She suddenly noticed the mumbled voices stopped and saw Lucas and the wedding planner, who she had missed the name of, staring at her oddly. She then had realized that her inner thought had involuntarily become her outer thoughts. "Oh um, I must be going crazy if I think that an in door wedding is better than a beautiful outdoor wedding." She attempted nervously.

Lucas smiled at her and turned back to the wedding planner. "So I guess it'll be an outdoor wedding after all. We can have it at the park near our house and then for reception party we could head inside."

'House,' she thought and shook the thought out of her mind once more. God, why was she so obsessive about this? He was the passed and Lucas was her future. That's how it would be – how it was supposed to be.

At the end of the first meeting, Cuddy came out almost completely clueless on all the plans. All she got down so far was that they were having an outside wedding somewhere near their house so they could hold the reception party there and that the wedding planner's name as Jamie.

She strapped her daughter into the car as and quickly hopped in. She saw Lucas give Jamie a warm thank you and got into Driver's seat. He smiled at her and she gave a weak, faux smile back as he began to drive them to their home – she couldn't call it their house anymore.

--

Wilson was a little shocked when he found his best friend and ex-roommate as he dug through the closet of their old, shared loft. He ignored him though and nonchalantly put his jacket in the very closet his friend was looking through. He then headed for the kitchen and heard the uneven steps follow him.

"Where that box of stuff I told you to throw out?" House asked, he would have thrown it out himself, but he everytime he did, he found it harder and harder to let go.

"I gave it to Cuddy," Wilson shrugged, oblivious to the shocked and almost angered face his friend had held at this moment.

"You idiot," House groaned. "I told you to only give her the necklace. That was the only thing she owned, well now she owns everything since you gave it to her and there's no way she's going to just let it laying around for me to get a few things out."

"Like what?" Wilson asked curiously as a smirk graced his lips and he took a luscious bite out of a big red apple.

"Things that she wasn't suppose to find or have, like my guitar picks collection." House stated as he kept his anger in check. "Well now she won't give anything back unless I come back to the hospital and swear never to leave again."

"House, if she didn't have feelings for you, she never would have taken the box. She would have taken the necklace and let me dump everything else out. Doesn't that make you feel better?" Wilson attempted but it was all in vain.

"No," House lied firmly. "She has my stuff and I have a flight to catch in four hours." He groaned as Wilson walked into the living room to enjoy his wide screen TV. "Do me a favor, at least get back my guitar pick collection and send it over to me."

"What? No that'll cost a fortune," Wilson objected. "Just start a new pick collection." He suggested as he continued to watch monster trucks the TV.

"No, that one was very special to me. Don't break my poor little heart," House almost sound like he was begging. "Plus, I'm sure you television costs more than the package." He stated as he wore his jacket and stood in front of said TV.

"Fine House, I'll break into Cuddy's office, find the box and send you your pick collection." Wilson gave in reluctantly.

House smiled. "Thanks buddy! I knew I could count on her," House stated as he messed with Wilson's hair. "Now don't be sad or misbehave while Daddy is gone. There is still Santa Clause." He got a simple eye roll in return.

"I thought you said you had a flight?" Wilson knew House was stalling and smirked.

"Right," House's face suddenly became serious, almost sad, as he realized that he was about to leave his home, his life, and the state where his reason was. He hid his emotions and attempted to be his usual sarcastic self, but it didn't seem to work its charm like it normally did. "See ya Wilson," He stated seriously as he shook his friend's hand.

"Goodbye House," He nodded as he watched his friend leave sadly and almost hesitantly get into the cab.

House had arrived at the airport just in time and waited for the minutes to tick by so he could get out of there before he changed his mind. He laid his head back, trying to forget the one reason he had to stay, and kept his serious and emotionless face. He opened his eyes as he heard them finally announce his flight.

_'Flight 279 to Osaka, Japan is now boarding at Gate 5.'_

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**A/N: Ooooh so were you guys surprised by the ending? hehe I remembered that House's inspiration to be a doctor came from Japan so I thought why not send him back hehe. I hope ya'll dont hate me, and dont worry this is still Huddy so you know how it'll end haha. Did you guys think Cuddy was a little insane? Hehe I liked that scene I thought it was a good in sight to Cuddy's thinking, at least in this story. I only assume since I am not David Shore or Katie Jacobs or any other director/writer lolol. Reviews are all appriciated :D**

-Jessica


	6. Thrown Away

**Disclaimer: I do not House**

**A/N: okay so who's happy to see an ANGST story updated.... anyone.....anybody?! haha Well I cant promise this and I'm not sure, but I think this story might be ending soon. hehe I'm sure you guys are probably thinking 'HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW YOUR THE AUTHOR!!!' well its because I usually write this after an episode when I have a reason to be mad at Cuddy and torture her and well now that the show is at a break I have no real CURRENT reason to be mad at her and I'm not listening to spoilers much anymore XD **

**BTW I just noticed this but this story SOME HOW has spoilers that I didnt know about till like a week or two after I wrote it!! haha like in Wilson's lecture he mentioned Cuddy hurting his friend, well I had NO IDEA he was going to say that in Wilson and to tell you the truth I seriously just realized that TONIGHT XD HAHA i'm such a dork!!! but yeah no I didnt read spoilers and put them into my stories XD I actually had no idea they were in them until like last week or this week when I got bored in math and started to read random fics XD**

**Well ANYWAYS, thanks to my beta** Amerianchick** for reading over this after her like 2 and a half hour "sleep" and a BIG VIRTUAL HUG to all my reviews and readers :D Sorry its not real, I'm not a big hugger xD when my friends go into a group hug I run off XD haha but really THANKS YOU GUYS!! :D Hope you like this chapter**

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Cuddy groaned as she opened her eye and saw her loving boyfriend smile at her as he watched her sleep with one lamp on. She smiled back at him lovingly as she yawned and he leaned down to give her a chaste kiss, which she returned happily.

"Good morning, Dr. Cuddy." He greeted her formally as he leaned against the headboard of their bed.

Cuddy smiled wider as she propped herself up on her elbows to get up. "Good morning," She grinned. "Dr. House."

She saw him smile at her once more as he leaned down to give her a tender, warm kiss. Cuddy cupped his cheeks and kissed him back with intensity as she closed her eyes and cherished the moment contently.

--

Cuddy slowly opened her eyes with a pleased sigh, but her smile soon turned into a frown when she realized she had awoken from yet another heartbreaking dream. She sat up quickly and took note of her surroundings. She saw Lucas sleeping next to her happily and heard Rachel's soft breathing through the baby monitor. She looked towards her poorly covered windows and heard, as well as saw, that it was raining hard outside. She took deep breaths as she told herself it was just a dream and tried – once more – to convince herself that she has no feelings for Dr. House.

After an hour of tossing and turning, as well as deep thinking, Cuddy was finally able to get herself to fall back into slumber. She prayed that she wouldn't get the same dream; if she did she thought she might kill herself.

--

The morning had come a little too fast for Cuddy. She felt to her side and sat up when she felt Lucas's presence missing. She smiled when she saw a small note on her alarm clock that had been shut off. It was already 9 a.m., she but didn't rush to get up like she normally would.

_Lisa,_

_Meeting Jamie for a few wedding details, you looked tired so I let you sleep in. Don't worry about work I told them that you were taking a day off and your assistant already rescheduled all your meetings so just relax. I took Rachel so you could have some peace._

_Love,  
Lucas_

Cuddy grinned; this is why she chose Lucas. He was caring, considerate, and always thought of her well being. How such a great man had been able to come into her life when he had was beyond her. She was just grateful that he was and will, soon, always be in her life. She lied back down on the bed and sighed happily.

They had met with Jamie at least 4 times a week for the past month. The wedding date was coming quickly and everything seemed to zoom passed them. Lucas usually had private meetings with Jamie and whenever she asked, Lucas always told her that it was a secret. She knew that Lucas had something special planned for her, but she really wanted to know, she was about ready to through a kiddy tantrum, though she knew that was too immature for her.

She was suddenly reminded of the little tantrums House used to throw and a frown appeared on her face. It had been a month and she still had thoughts of him. She assured herself though that it would be gone soon and she was only thinking of him because he _used_ to be a big part of her life. She held onto her necklace tightly and closed her eyes as her mind continued down the path of Gregory House. A smile appeared on her face as she thought of the life she would have with House, it would probably crazy, but she knew she'd have fun.

It had become a bad habit of hers to start to go onto deep thought of what could have been whenever House had popped into her mind. Some how, it always started with her memories being triggered by anything really, and then lead to her absentmindedly holding onto her necklace before her mind would go into a long path of how everything would have been like. Sometimes she'd find herself open her eyes and realize that it had been several hours and when she was in public with Lucas, she was happy that she only disappeared for a few minutes and not hours. It would be very hard to explain to her fiancée why she was thinking of another man.

She also noticed that, albeit she was convinced that Lucas was the right chose, she wanted to tell him on several occasions that the engagement was off. She could never find the voice though. She refused to change her decision and refused to listen to the voice in her head saying that she was in denial. Oddly enough, the voice in her head sounded like Wilson. She didn't expect anything else though; Wilson was a mother nagging her daughter to get married.

--

The hospital was its usual crazy place. Wilson walked up to Cuddy's assistant and slyly convinced her to let him into her office. He smiled as he entered and began to look for the box of House's belongings. He had tried several times to find it, but whenever he found the box Cuddy would come in or he'd get paged and when he returned to retrieve several items that House had requested for the box was moved and hidden much better than the last.

The last time Wilson had found it, the box was hidden in plain sight with several other boxes. That took him several hours to figure out, after Cuddy had gone home, but was interrupted when Cuddy entered stating that she needed to pick something up. He had only found out where the box was because Cuddy had come up to it and pulled out several pictures – those there things for Wilson to cross off the list of things House wanted. Then Cuddy ushered him out of her office and locked it so he couldn't return till the next day.

As he began to look he had an odd feeling that he was getting closer and closer to it. Time after time he found that his suspicions were false. He sighed tiredly as he sat on the comfortable chair behind Cuddy's desk. He put his feet under her table and kicked something. He slowly backed up and bent smiled as he picked up the box. He placed it on the desk and began to look through it for House's prize possession.

"What do you think you're doing?" Wilson looked up to see Lucas starring at him. He began to approach the desk and Wilson got out of the box. "You know if House wants some of his stuff back, you could ask Lisa if she would give it back instead of sneaking into her office to steal it. Man, you hang out with House too much." That sounded like an insult.

"I don't think Cuddy would so easily give back some of these stuff and neither does House. If I tell her that he wants something, we both know that she will negotiate to get her biggest asset back." Wilson explained to the investigator.

"Lisa wouldn't do that. She knows that that wouldn't work. Plus, she took these as a favor to both of you. It was obvious that neither of you can throw it away so she took it off your hands. Why would she need those things? She doesn't care about them, especially if they were under her desk for her to remember to throw them out." Lucas stated.

Wilson furrowed his brows. Would she really throw away something she was so ecstatic to have received? Either Lucas was lying to him, Cuddy to lying to Lucas, or he had just gotten the chore of throwing out House's belongs for him.

"Well then I guess she won't care if I take a few things, will she?" Wilson threw back at the confident P.I.

"I don't see why she would, but it's really pathetic how you can't trust her enough to just ask for the stuff back." Lucas shrugged and ignored Wilson's angered face.

Wilson ignored as Lucas pretended to have a reason to be in the room instead of being there to watch him. He pulled out House's guitar pick collection, numerous pictures that Cuddy hadn't taken, and letters that were left unopened. He was a little surprised that she hadn't taken these since they had been addressed to her, but she must have been waiting to read them. Well House would kill him if he didn't grab those. Apparently they seemed to be the most important, even more than his collection.

He quickly left the room, not being able to really stand Lucas, after putting the box back under the desk. He put the letters in his pocket while he held onto the box and pictures as he stood at the clinic desk. He saw Lucas leave immediately after him and was slightly annoyed that he didn't trust him. He ignored it though and went up to his office to box the items to be sent to Japan.

--

Lucas had arrived home with Rachel to find Cuddy watching TV in the living room. He smiled as he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek before taking his rightful spot next to her. Cuddy leaned against him and snuggled into his chest as he wrapped a loving arm around her.

"Hey," He greeted her as he held her closely.

"Hey," She smiled back at him before turning to watch her daughter play with stuffed animals.

"Wilson was snooping around your office _again_," Lucas told his fiancée and got a hardy laugh from her.

"What did he take?" She asked, knowing that Lucas didn't care to stop him from taking anything from the box, with artificial heedlessness. She cared a lot about what Wilson had taken. When she caught him several times she had caught a list he was holding and took out several things that House wanted that she couldn't let go of. She hadn't seen the whole list though, mostly only the last things on it.

"He took some mahogany box,"

_The guitar picks collection,_ Cuddy mentally noted.

"A few pictures,"

_The ones that I left behind, him and some girls from the cheerleading squad._

"And these letters kept together with some red ribbon." Lucas finished as he took a sip of soda that he had brought home.

_Oh no,_ Cuddy panicked. _Not the letters. I hadn't gotten to reading them yet and why would House even want them? They were written to her. If I'd known that was on the list it would have been the first things out._ Cuddy breathed to make sure her inner thoughts stayed in instead of coming out, like the first meeting with Jamie. She tried not to let tears become visible in her eyes as she began to wonder what the letters could possible say. If House wanted them back they had to be something good, or at least something she wanted to know.

"Oh okay, I wonder why he'd want any of those things," She felt a small pang of hurt in her heart. "I'll throw out the rest of the stuff tomorrow." She lied. She couldn't throw anything from there away. It was like throwing away the necklace she refused to take off.

"Oh it's okay," Lucas stated which caused Cuddy to look up at him in fear, panic and confusion. "I threw it out for you." He smiled, oblivious to Cuddy's inner thoughts. "You're always too busy to throw it away so I put it in the car and threw it in the trash before I came in."

Cuddy bit her lip as she tried to stay calm and not scream at Lucas for what he had done. He did think that he was doing her a favor and it's the thought that counted. Still, she was beyond upset with him at the moment. That box had the last remnants of House she had and albeit she was supposed to be putting House behind her, she still couldn't help the flame of rage that was erupted in her stomach.

To make sure she didn't explode at Lucas and get him suspicious, she stood up weakly and told him that she had work to do. She went into their room and saw that it was only 4 in the afternoon so she had a few hours to cool down before she had to eventually emerge from the room. A few tears slipped as she remembered the letters she had missed out on. She sighed as she went to her closet and pulled out a small chest. At least she was able to save a few things and hopefully Lucas wouldn't find them, at least not too soon.

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**A/N: See, I need a reason to be mad at Cuddy for my chapters to be at least a little sad!!! I usually try to make it at least a 9 (in friend opinion) how angst it is and I dont think this is even a 5 lololol**

**But do any of you hate Lucas? Cuz that was an accident but OKAY!**

**So do any of you have any filler ideas? lol I dont want to end the story and then find out that i am like UBERLY mad at Cuddy and not have anyway to write it out unless I start a new fic and then get all happy again XD haha So if you have any ideas do share and reviews are all loved :D**

-Jessica


	7. Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I do not House**

**A/N: I'm baaack haha. Alright you all are probably wondering "WHEN IS THIS SUPPOSED TO TURN HUDDY" well I'm sorry to say that I'm not sure.... but I promise this isnt over yet. This will be Huddy no matter what just be patient lol. I am just stalling a bit, sorry! I dont want to end this story just yet especially if I end up getting even madder at Cuddy's character. so plesae be **panot tient

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! You guys are just AWESOME! And I'd like to apologize for having such a short chapter**

**Shout out to my temporary beta (who is usually very busy so it was very nice of her to check this out), **Rei**.**

**Thanks to my usual beta, **not - lupus . everybody - lies**, for sending edits last minute! You rock!**

**Please enjoy!**

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The red light shone from the clock sitting on the bedside table. Cuddly looked at the numbers aimlessly. 4:00 am. She'd never really been known to have any sleeping problems, but that night she felt completely, and utterly restless. When she tried to close her eyes to sleep, she'd instantly start tossing and turning. The only thing that really kept her still was watching the clock as it turned from 4:01 to 4:02.

She furrowed her brows, frowned, and let out a soft groan as she realized that in less than three hours the garbage truck would be coming around to her street. This wouldn't usually bother her, but the fact that she had House's belongings amongst her other garbage made her a little uneasy. In three hours, she'd lose all of House's stuff forever. It would join a large pile of trash at the city dump and she'd never see any of it again.

Cuddy attempted to put the thought of losing what little memorabilia of House she had left being in the trash to the farthest back of her mind. She took deep breaths and just focused on how wonderful her fiancée was, and how close she was to having the family she had always dreamed of. The probability of them all going to the park on the weekend and having a picnic. _All_ of them running and playing and having fun. Not that she held House's leg injury against him. It was her fault after all.

As she finally began to calm herself down, her eyes closed and she took a deep breath as the darkness began to consume her. A smile formed on her face as she dreamt about what future she would have with Lucas. The great things they could all do as a happy-go-lucky family. The one thing she almost couldn't have because of… she didn't even want to think of his name at the moment. She just wanted to live in her fantasy, even if only for a moment.

Her dream suddenly turned around when her eyes were unexpectedly turned to House who stood on the other side of the lush, green fields. She saw his smiling face, though it looked vague. Was she really starting to forget how he looked? She had no current photo of him, only ones from years ago and most hid a majority of his features. Nonetheless she saw him smiling lovingly at her, the same smile from one of the pictures taken at the party they danced at in Michigan. He motioned for her _and_ Rachel to come join him. Was he suggesting to maybe having a happy family with _him?_

Cuddy turned to Lucas and saw that he held a similar smile urging her to stay with him. Could she have no peace even in her dreams? She turned back to House and suddenly saw him begin to fade. It seemed that if she didn't go to him right there and then she'd lose him for all eternity. This couldn't be the case in her dreams. She was aloud to dream of him wasn't she?

She reached for her necklace and clutched it tightly as she watched House disappear slowly. Time couldn't be moving that fast. She felt around her next and realized that the lovely necklace recently returned to her was no longer there. She looked down and saw it to begin to fade. What did that mean? That if she didn't choose House that she'd also lose the necklace that rightfully belonged to her?

A plane had out of the blue appeared a short distance from House and he turned towards it and began to limp to its open door. Why had it suddenly appeared? Was it there to remind her that House was gone? Was it there to take him out and away from her dreams? No. It was coming for something much more precious. It was coming to pick up her memories and take them as far away from her as possible. She couldn't let that happen, not when she still had a chance, no matter how small, to retrieve them.

Quickly, she began to run towards House as he got closer and closer to the plane's staircase. She began to breathe hard, tiredly as well as worriedly, as she notice House begin to get farther away from her the faster and longer she ran. How had her sweet dream turned into a nightmare? He was so close and yet so far away. She reached out for him as he reached for the railing and just as she was about to grab his arm he, along with the plane, suddenly disappeared.

It flew off quickly as she stood there helplessly watching him fly away. He didn't even say goodbye. He didn't say it the first time and he didn't do it this time. The only difference was that this was her dream and she actually had a chance to stop him, but instead she watched miserably as the plane took off and took him away from her, again.

Immediately, her eyes shot open and she nearly jumped out of bed. She turned to the clock and it was only 5:15am. She still had two hours before the garbage truck got there. She might have had to let House go, but it didn't mean she had to let everything else go. Thank god Lucas said that he had thrown the box away here or else she didn't know what she'd do.

As quietly as she could, she crept out of bed and quickly put on something warm. She then silently tiptoed out of bed and went to put on some shoes before she went out into the cold, dark morning. She went down her driveway to the trash bins and opened them. She began to search, even though she thought it was disgusting since last night's dinner had been the last thing they threw out, but she was more than determined to get that box back.

Her search came to a halt when she saw the lights in her house turn on the door open to reveal a concerned looking Lucas. Cuddy bit her lip and cursed as she realized that she had been caught. She stood up and watched as Lucas approached her almost disappointedly. She gave him a faint weak smile as he frowned and furrowed his brows. She wasn't going to lose them both.

"Lisa, is there something you want to tell me?" He asked her softly. "Like, do you even want to go on with this marriage because I just want you to be happy and if you love House…" He trailed off.

Cuddy furrowed her brows before she placed a hand on his arm lovingly and made him look at her. "Lucas," She began as she smiled at him tenderly. "I love you and only you. I just, I guess I just missed House a little." She sighed weakly and gave a small pout as she looked down.

Lucas smiled and wrapped his arms around her. "It's alright, I understand." He told her as she looked up at him. "He was a big part of your life and, don't deny it, you used to like him a little bit." He informed her obviously. "Just tell me, do you still love him because you don't _have_ to marry me." He told her sympathetically.

Cuddy closed her eyes and took a chance. "I don't _have_ to but I _want_ to." She told him softly and saw his smile widen which she returned halfheartedly. What ever repercussions she was worried about either have to go away or she'd have to live with it because now she couldn't get out of this mess without hurting both Lucas and herself.

"Lets go inside and rest, you have a busy day tomorrow," Lucas smiled jokily held Cuddy warmly against his chest and began to head into the house.

Cuddy snuggled into her fiancée's chest affectionately as he led them both into _their_ cozy home. Before they could step in a loud noise passed them and Cuddy looked up to see a plane fly across their dwelling. Planes rarely fly over their house and Lucas just wore a quizzical expression. Cuddy knew though, it was the world's way of announcing that there was no going back for her, and that she'd have to deal with the consequences whether she wanted to or not.

The digital clock turned 7:30am and Cuddy was getting ready for work. She heard the trash truck pull up to her house. Cuddy closed her eyes to reframe herself from running outside and stopping them. She took a deep breath as she heard the claw grab the bin and let it out when she heard the truck inevitably pull away.

That was it. All she had left was the things she was able to save and she knew those were going to be found soon and thrown away as well. Maybe if they ever decided to move into a bigger house it'd get lost. For now she'd either have to cherish them or try to forget them. Either way, they were just memories; and everyone knows that all memories fade sooner or later.

--

Wilson sat in his living room as he packed up the last of House's left behinds. He looked back at the small box, still unclosed, and saw some envelopes peaking out. He tapped his fingers on the recently packed box and sighed with a horse-ish sound as he eyed it curiously. His leg began to bounce up and down at a rushed pace, and his curiosity soon got the best of him as he leaned to the side and grabbed them. He dropped a few, leaving one freshly sealed envelope in his grasp. With a sigh, he turned it over and opened it slowly, unsure of what he would find. Pulling out the piece of paper, he began to read.

_Dear Lisa,_

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**A/N: Ooooh did Lisa just make a totally bad move? What will that lead to? hehe I am evil aren't I? Do any of you guys want to now what House put in the letter? I'll let you vote:**

**Show the letter in the next chapter  
or  
Don't show it at all**

**I hope you all like it and don't worry Cuddy is NOT insane. She is just conflicted like a lot of people. Reviews are all appriciated!**

-Jessica


	8. Red Thong

**Disclaimer: I do not House**

**A/N: Okay I really didn't feel like making you guys wait any longer so I'm posting this chapter completely unbeta-ed hehe. Idk when any of my betas are gonna get online so yeah, I'm EXTREMELY sorry for any mistakes i KNOW there are some, but if you find like a HUGE one please do tell me.**

**You guys wanted Huddy right? Well I decided not to prolong the story and go with my original plan. This story will be huddy VERY soon and will of course end huddy hehe. Please enjoy**

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_April 21, 2009_

_Dear Lisa,_

_This will probably be the last letter I have ever written. I know in my last letter I said that I had nothing more to say other than you were a great friend, but I was wrong. For the passed few months I've been trying to prove to you that you were more than a good friend to me and I regret not being able to say it aloud. I have tried to change, but I guess it wasn't enough or else you wouldn't be marrying Lucas. I hope you two the best and live long and prosperous._

_Love,  
Greg_

_P.S. I love you_

Wilson stared at the letter for several minutes. Why did House write one so recent if he never planned on giving these to Cuddy? Wilson's curiosity over powered his senses of right and wrong and he decided to read several more. Most of them were just asking how she was and apologizing for things he had done 20 years ago. He noted that House wrote a letter at least once a year until he started dating Stacy, then the letters all stopped. He flipped to the very first letter and gently took of the sticker that held it closed. The paper looked old and brownish, as if it were an antique.

_June 17, 1989_

_Dear Lisa,_

_If you're reading this I am probably dead. I know we haven't spoken or even seen each other after that party at Mary Lou's and, for once, I'd like to apologize. I'm not really the sappy kind of guy which is why you aren't reading this a few days after the date it's written, but since I'm dead I thought you should know that I wanted to call you back but before I could I got a call from the dean saying I had been expelled. I decided that since I was leaving that why should I try? I regret that now and I hope something might have happened. You probably followed your life's plan and became some successful administrator behind some desk bad talking all the doctors that stabbed you in the back. Congrats! The second I saw your syllabus in that bookstore I knew you weren't going to go back on any of your plans. Hope you got that family that you mumbled about after getting drunk. Oh, right. You probably don't know, but that one time you went to the bar with your friends and got so drunk you didn't know how you got back to your dorm, I kind of took you home. On the way you mentioned something about your sister having a family and you going to get one too. Hope it all worked out for you. See you in the afterlife!_

_Greg_

Wilson chuckled at his friend's ramblings. He sure has changed since then. The letter seemed pretty deep and meaningful, most of the letters, excluding the last letter, was meaningful but not as deep and personal. He smiled, if only these two could have actually seen what was in front of them. Maybe they wouldn't have missed out on such a beautiful opportunity, but hey, they can all be happily ever after.

With a sigh, he closed up the old letters and put the recent one in a similar envelope. He quickly traced Cuddy's name onto it and retied the red bow perfectly before he put it back in the box. If House ever got suspicious he could always lie and say that Cuddy got to them before he did, that'd work wouldn't it? He was about to tape it, but left it undone incase he wanted to snoop a little later. He put it in a pile with the rest of the boxes and went back to packing House's belongings.

--

Two weeks had passed and Cuddy's mind was still unsettled. She has had similar dreams about House leaving every time she closed her eyes and she couldn't take it anymore. She wanted to talk to Lucas was afraid of what his reaction would be so she kept it to herself, hoping the unsettled feeling would go away. It didn't though, it was eating its way through her and she felt herself going crazy.

In every dream, House seemed to become vaguer as the memory of every feature on his face began to slowly fade. When she began to sneak into up from bed or into her room to look at the loving pictures of him she knew that she had finally gone over the cliff and it was time to get help. She scheduled an appointment with a close personal friend of hers to help her through this, maybe it was just cold feet about the wedding? Though that doesn't occur until the wedding date, which was still a month and a half away. She had no idea how long she could last before she'd start to let herself slip and give away her feelings for the ex-employee.

Cuddy entered the building and stood shyly at the receptionist's desk. She said her name with little confidence and the young receptionist told her to go right in. Knocking quietly, Cuddy popped her head in to see her old friend smiling at her expectantly. Cuddy sighed as she entered all the way and took a seat nervously on the couch.

"Lisa, lay down." Her friend instructed, which she obeyed as her old friend got out her psychiatric notepad; the cover of it was brown leather like the ones Lisa had seen on TV. "So why don't you tell me what's wrong, you sounded a little hysterical on the phone yesterday." She stated as she pushed her glasses back.

"I'm going insane Lindsey," Cuddy stated simply and troubled. She took the silence from her friend as a 'go on'. "House quit about a month and a half ago and it so happens that that was about the same time Lucas proposed and I accepted." Cuddy began her story. "Ever since then I couldn't stop thinking of him. At first I had control over it and it was everyone once in a while, but now. It's gone to insane heights. I can't stop dreaming of him and my dream is all the same over and over." She explained a little too quickly.

"Lucas?" Lindsey asked a bit confused.

"No House," Cuddy sighed and heard a low grunt of acknowledgement as Lindsey urged her to keep going. "Well my dreams always start out nice and perfect, but then he suddenly shows up and…" She trailed off not sure how to describe it. She doesn't hate seeing him in her dreams but she's not exactly asking for it either. "I don't know," She admitted. "It's not horrible to see him in my dreams but at the same time, it drives me… well to where I am right now."

"Why don't you just call House and tell him how you feel? Get some closure?" Lindsey suggested caringly.

"The problem is I don't know where he is and I told Lucas," She bit her lip as she realized how much she had regretted her words. "That I _wanted_ to be with him and only him and that I had no feelings for House and… Lindsey, help me." Cuddy begged immaturely and though she was a little more embarrassed, she was used to asking Lindsey for help. They had known each other for years and she was closer to Lindsey than she was to her own sister.

"Lisa," Lindsey began. "It's obvious that you have feelings for House. I mean you told me a while back that Dr. Allison Cameron, who was a pretty close friend of yours, had quit and you didn't go crazy."

"Yeah, but, like Lucas said, he was a big part of my life and I _did_ like him and I miss him, sure, but that was two weeks ago. Now, now I'm practically obsessed with him." Cuddy said stressed. "I've been going to my room daily and spend a little too much time with old memories of House, 20 years old." She admitted aloud for the first time. "I can't even get a decent amount of sleep - that means at least ten minutes of no House in my dream – without getting at least a peek of those materialist things."

Lindsey sighed and decided to approach this situation in another way. She knew that Lisa wasn't insane and didn't need a weekly session – and even if she did she knew Lisa would never show up – but she also knew Lisa wouldn't give up until she stopped dreaming of the doctor. Though she didn't see why Lisa wanted him out of her dreams, Lindsey had met Greg and they weren't close friends, but that didn't mean Lindsey didn't find House extremely attractive.

"Okay Lisa, I want you to take a deep breath and relax." Lindsey instructed softly. "Now lie down on the bed and close your eyes. I'm going to try this new hypnosis technique I learned at the last conference." She informed her patient. "Just relax and clear your mind. Don't think about anything at all. Be mindless." She saw Cuddy take another deep breath before completely calming down. "Now in a snap of my finger you will open your eyes and you will be where you want to be most in the world." She snapped her fingers and watched as Cuddy's eyes snapped open. "What do you see?"

Cuddy looked around her surrounding and it took her a second to realize that the hypnosis worked. She looked around to find out where she is. "Um," She thought as she continued to search. "I'm at the airport." She stated confused as she saw the flight schedule.

"What are you doing?" Lindsey's voice seemed to appear out of no where.

"I'm walking towards the flight schedules." Cuddy felt as if she had no control over her body as she walked towards it. "I'm looking at some flights, but I don't know which one House is on." She stated still confused. "Wait," She said as her body turned and headed for another direction. "I'm going towards a window now." She narrated.

"Do you see anything or anyone?" Lindsey asked expectantly.

"Um," Cuddy looked around and gasped before she swallowed hard. "Yeah, I see House." She informed the psychiatrist. She then squinted her eyes to see what was going on. "Oh no," She panicked.

"What is it?" Lindsey inquired worriedly when she heard the urgency and fear in her friend's voice.

"House," Cuddy began to call out. "No," She cried. "Don't leave." As if House could actually hear her. She began to toss and turn on the couch restlessly as she watched House turn on the steps of the small plane and wave to no one, as if he knew she was there.

"Lisa," Cuddy opened her eyes to see her friend hovering above her. "Are you alright?" Lindsey asked as she gave her a cool cup of water. "You suddenly were filled with anxiety and you just flipped out."

"House, he was," Cuddy took a big drink of water. "He was getting on the plane." Cuddy was at the verge of tears now. "What does this mean? The hypnosis suddenly turned into another nightmare. Did I want to watch him leave?" She asked distressed.

Lindsey sighed. She knew exactly what was going on, but Lisa would never listen. Well being a psychiatrist taught her one important thing: it's better to be truthful and make people listen to what they don't want to than to tell them exactly what they want.

"Lisa, it's obvious you have very strong feelings for House. Why don't you try to get a hold of him? Let all these held in feelings out, maybe it'll calm you down a bit." Lindsey suggested.

Cuddy didn't listen though. "Maybe this is a sign," She attempted and Lindsey let out a knowing sigh. "Maybe House hasn't left yet. Maybe I have a chance to stop him at the airport. Thanks Lindsey! Mail me the bill," Cuddy grabbed her stuff and rushed out.

Lindsey sighed as she watched her friend rush out, knowing that she wouldn't be able to stop her. Maybe Cuddy was crazy, crazy in love.

--

It wasn't until she was standing in the middle of airport did Cuddy realize that she was crazier than she had first assumed. She was standing there, probably like an idiot, trying to see if a man who she _knew_ was long gone could still be there. Had she really gotten that pathetic? As she walked towards a seat, away from the exit, she bumped into a man who gave her a low grunt, but she ignored him. She needed to sit down, relax and forget about House for a moment.

Cuddy began to review her situation. She was at the airport, right after a session with a psychiatrist, looking for a man she hadn't seen in over a month. She groaned at how sad that sounded. She needed to learn to get on with her life, it was how nature was. Sometimes you make stupid mistakes; you have to deal with the consequences. It just meant that she and House weren't meant for each other and if they were God was just playing with as if they were action figures, but she knew He was a good being and would set things right. Just go with the flow of His plan, like her parents had always suggested.

She thought of how she could start her new, House free life and decided to show Lucas how much she really cared about him, or at least how much she _could_ care for him. She quickly got out of the somehow lonely airport and rushed through the city to her dear fiancée's apartment. She never understood why he insisted on keeping it after they moved in together, but she didn't argue.

When she got to the familiar door she knocked and waited for an answer. After a minute or so she realized that he wasn't home and smiled. Now it could be an even bigger surprise. She got out her key and let herself in immediately feeling comfortable with the environment. She didn't know how much time she had so she quickly took off her jacket and put it, along with her jacket, on the couch. She headed for the kitchen, but abruptly stopped.

Cuddy looked down at her foot and her jaw nearly fell to the ground as she saw a small, recently dried, red piece of clothing she wasn't familiar with. Not believing her eyes, she bent over and picked up the disgusting item off the ground and gasped as she confirmed it definitely didn't belong to her. She took deep, hard, angry breaths as she held the small piece of cloth on her fingers.

The door opened behind her and she heard giggling from a familiar voice. She heard it stop as well as the entering foot steps and knew they had immediately spotted her. She set her jaw and furrowed her brows angrily as her nostrils flared. She turned around quickly as her fiancée and wedding planner, who now hid timidly behind Lucas. She knew he'd probably lie so she held up the small piece of clothing at her eye level.

She hardened her glare as she growled out, "Do you know whose red, recently dried thong this is, because I'm sure it's not mine?"

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**A/N: hehe like the little twist I added in there? hehe i know, I know Lucas would never REALLY cheat on Cuddy, or so most of us asume, but hey he was feeling lonesome hehe. Please do tell me what you think hehehe and if ANY of you, which I doubt, think Lucas and Cuddy should stay together tell me XD hehe reviews are very loved**

-Jess


	9. Relief

**Disclaimer: I do not House**

**A/N: Woo hoo! Celebrate Huddy come on! XD haha sorry I have the song Celebration stuck in my head. hehe but yes Huddy if here...... sorta kinda maybe XD haha well there's no more luddy XD hehe if only it were that simple on the show, then again, would the show be fun if it was? lol well it took be about 3 hours to write and edit this....though I did get side tracked XD haha being distracted is fun! XD lol well anyways I hope you like this chapter hehe**

**Oh and...................**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE EVE**

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Cuddy hardened her glare as she growled out, "Do you know whose red, recently dried thong this is, because I'm sure it's not mine?" She noticed Jamie hiding behind Lucas a bit and then she saw something in Lucas's hand. Gasping in shock and disgust, she snatched it from him. "How dare you bring my daughter with you," She screamed angrily and noticed Rachel sleeping. "You," She took a deep breath not to explode. "You despicable, disgusting, underhanded, son of a bitch," She let out in one breath, "I can't believe that I actually was going to marry you."

Lucas furrowed his brows in frustration as he took a step towards her. "Lisa," He said softly as he tried to put a comforting hand on her arm, but she pulled away quickly and narrowed her eyes angrily.

"Don't you dare touch me," She gritted her teeth.

"Please let me explain," He begged. Lucas watched Cuddy's body language and saw her cross her arms and begin to tap her foot; she was giving him a chance. "Did you ever really want this?" He asked her. "I mean are you even a little upset about this? Hurt at all?"

Cuddy opened her mouth to say the obvious answer, but began to think about it. She wasn't hurt nor was she really upset. Not even surprised, as if she knew it would happen or she was expecting it. She was angry, but not at him, she was angrier at herself for letting this happen when she knew it would. She was shocked to feel sort of relieved. She even felt a little happy about the discovery. As she let out a breath to calm herself down, she diverted her eyes and bit her lip guiltily.

"No," She answered simply. "I'm not the least bit hurt at all." She confessed. "And I don't think I ever wanted this, not really. I wanted the idea," Lindsey's words rang in her head. "But I didn't want the real thing. Though I was willing to put that all behind and at least try it." She let out a bit bitterly.

"You love House though," Lucas told her knowingly. He cast his glance downward, a bit sadly as her revealed, "I would wake up in the middle of the night without you knowing and all I hear when you talk in your sleep is his name. Not once have I ever heard my name being mentioned. When I saw you digging through the trash I was already awake and you were telling House not to leave you in your dream."

"I was willing to put that all behind me though," She told him calmly. "Did you really think that I'd be stuck on him my whole life? I'd be able to move on sooner or later."

"But how long would it have taken, Lisa?" Lucas asked her as he furrowed his brows in sorrow. "I didn't want you to have one hand on me and one on House. I can handle being the second or even third most important person in your life, but I can't handle being the fourth, especially if House was the third." He explained. He was a very flexible guy, but this was something he just couldn't compromise.

Cuddy felt a bit guilty, she knew that this was just as much her fault as it was his. She shouldn't have accepted the proposal if she never even really wanted it. Two kids, a dog and retiring to Florida, that all sounded nice in her head, but wasn't really what she wanted. Lucas wanted it for sure, but she hated happy-go-lucky families, though she envied them at times, she liked dysfunction, she wouldn't really admit it, but she loved it and it seemed much more fun. Much more real. Lucas was fun and unpredictable when they first started dating, especially with his job, but after a while it all became a routine. She knew Lucas like an open book and there was no more mystery. She needed a man who could never be that simply, who always had a twist to every turn. She needed someone like… House.

"Here," Lucas pulled her away from her train of thought. She watched as he went to his closet and pulled out a box. "I didn't really throw away House's stuff, I just said I did. I wanted to see if you'd actually dig in the trash to get it and when you did it confirmed to me that you loved him." He smiled. "And it was pretty funny watching you dig through the bins for something that wasn't there."

Cuddy thinned her lips as she smiled and took the box from him. Everything was still in there, except of course the things Wilson ran off with. She looked at Lucas graciously and smiled at him appreciatively, before her strong Jewish guilt took over.

"Lucas," She said soft as she put the box down next to Rachel. "I'm really sorry about this mess," She spoke sincerely as she took off her engagement ring and placed it in his hand before closing it. "I guess we weren't really made for each other." She looked down a bit regrettably.

"I guess not," Lucas followed her action. "Take care." He extended his hand to her humanely.

Cuddy took his hand and shook it. "You too," She gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. She put her on her coat and placed her purse with House's belongs before putting Rachel's carriage in her arms and picking up the box. "I'm really sorry, but I wish you the best." She smiled and stopped at Jamie giving her a nod of recognition before she stepped out and got into her car, shockingly blissful. There was only one place she knew she would have to go to.

--

Wilson packed boxes as fast as he could after getting off the phone with House. He left the box with the letters still open, planning to close it right before he ships it. He was able to sneak a peak at several more cute letters before House called. House had threatened to fly back there if he didn't get his stuff quick. Wilson jumped when he heard a knock at the door. Did House _really_ fly half way around the world just to get his stuff?

Wilson quickly stood up and opened the door. "House I can't believe you—" He stopped midway when he saw it wasn't House. "Oh, Cuddy. What are you doing here?" He asked curiously. "Not that I mind you coming over or anything," He noticed that Cuddy's ring finger was oddly bare. "Is something wrong?"

Cuddy's eyes began to tear up as she looked up at Wilson. "Lucas and I broke up." She announced and was immediately welcomed into the loft that Wilson and House managed to steal from her. She put her still sleeping baby down next to the couch and noticed the boxes.

"Lisa, I'm so sorry," Wilson said sincerely as he gave her a cup of tea. Though he didn't like Lucas, he knew how his friend has felt. He handed her a tissue and was surprised to see her smile at him brightly.

"These aren't tears of hurt or even sadness," She laughed a little. "I am just so…" She thought for a moment. Happy was an understatement, even joyful. "Relieved," She decided.

Though didn't quite understand why she was so relieved to break up with him, she was happy with him, yes, but he wasn't…House. He wasn't someone who could and would challenge her like House did and sure he made her laugh and smile and tried anything to make her happy and feel loved, but House, he was something else. All her boyfriends have been the same, all safe choices, but she wanted—no, needed House, the most dangerous choice there was.

Wilson smiled at his friend's good reaction. "That's great," He stated.

Then it hit him, why she had come all the way to his home just to tell him this, well other than because he was one of her closest friend. He looked down sadly and put a hand on Cuddy's. When she looked up, he saw her eyes begging for the answer.

"Lisa," He began sadly. "House," He tried to go by it gently, knowing that when she'd find out it would hurt her. "He's in," His hesitations suddenly made her pleading eyes grow larger. "He's in Osaka, Japan." He let out quickly and saw the immediate sorrow in her expression. "I'm sorry."

Cuddy looked down as her tears of happiness turned into tears of pain and grief. She began to sniff and sob was she realized that she had waited too long. Her eyes opened a bit and she noticed something sticking out of an open box. She wiped her eyes and saw the envelopes she had left unread. She wanted desperately to read them, but wasn't sure if Wilson would allow her.

Noticing her gaze, Wilson turned to the box and saw what Cuddy was eyeing. With a small smile he grabbed the envelopes and handed it to her. "You should read some, it's really good read." He gave her a knowing smile.

Cuddy smiled at the gift and chuckled, knowing that Wilson hadn't been able to stay out of them. She held them in her hand for a moment before she bit her lip and returned it back to Wilson with a sigh. "Not now," She told him. She wanted to wait until it was House who was giving it to her, if she ever saw him again. It'd make the moment much more memorable.

With admiration, Wilson took back the envelopes and placed them in the box. "You know," He began. "House's apartment is still around and the landlord said that I'd have till next month to clean it out before he'd just throw it all away, and that ends tomorrow. I could use some help and if we can't find something that you so happen to like…" Wilson gave Cuddy a smirk.

She chuckled. "I'd love to help you clean out his apartment," She couldn't remember the last time she had stepped foot in there and she oddly missed its messy and unclean environment just as much as she missed him.

"Great, I'll be there at 1 pm." Wilson scheduled.

"Alright," She agreed as she suddenly stood up and placed the cup on the table. "Well, I better get home now, before Rachel wakes up." She picked up her baby's carrier. "Thanks for everything, Wilson." She said appreciatively.

Wilson showed her to the door and she hurried home. Her house felt empty without Lucas in it, and she found that strangely comfortable. She couldn't help but laugh as she realized that she enjoyed the bareness of her home, though she wouldn't mind having a certain doctor over once in a while.

She hurried and did her usual chores and routine before she tucked herself into bed. For once, she went to sleep easily, though the thought of finding House in Japan filled her dreams.

Meeting him at one of Japan's beautiful parks and sitting with him under a cherry tree. It seemed all so romantic and perfect. Everything was so calm and serene. She could just imagine moving there and living with him. Having a family with _him_, being happy, albeit a bit dysfunctional, but that made it even better.

Her dream had ended all too soon when she woke up the next morning. Thankfully, it was Saturday and she had the day off. She'd spend the first half of the day with her daughter at home and the second half with Wilson in House's apartment.

Though her dream had ended too early, time didn't move fast enough as she waited for it to become 1 pm. When it was 12:45, Cuddy's nanny arrived and took Rachel from Cuddy. She gave her an estimation of what time she'd come home and if she was any later she'd call. She gave Rachel a quick kiss on the forehead before rushing off.

It was only 12:55 when she showed up at House's apartment, she hadn't realized how close he really lived from her. She noticed the door unlocked and decided to get in and wait for Wilson, seeing that his car wasn't parked in the front. She heard the shower running in the bathroom and was surprised. Had someone already moved in?

Cautiously, she moved towards the bathroom door to make sure it was this shower she was hearing. Her she was confirmed when she saw some steam coming from the bottom of the door. She reached for the door knob slowly, considering whether or not she should go in. She gave a quiet knock and turned the knob. Before she could open the door, someone beat her to it and made her fall forward a bit. She looked up and gasped at the sight in front of her.

She breathed out, "House."

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**A/N: Okay be honest, how many of you saw the ending coming? hehe I bet you didnt! :D but if you did WOW you some how dug into my brain and got out his information XD Well I hope you liked this chapter, obviously it means the start of Huddy, but who said I'm going to make it an easy start hehe. hint hint**

**Alright as a special new year's treat for all you great readers and reviews, EVERYONE who reviews will get to find out about a poll I'm putting up for this story, obviously that means there is a spoiler involved hehe, a pretty big one if you ask me. So please tell me what you think and.....**

**HAVE A GREAT NEWS YEARS!!!!**

-Jess


	10. Glad you're Back

**Disclaimer: I do not House**

**A/N: :3 Pwease dont hate me! I am soooo soooo SOO SOOO SOOOOOO SORRY i havent updated ANYTHING in two weeks. From last Saturday to...well yesterday I have been sooo busy! I havent even been able to go on the compo unless it was for my science fair print out PLUS i got entered into the spelling bee which I am LITERALLY forced to do by, not my parents, but my loving teachers XD haha they told me that in a funny way too. So ya, I'm a little busy. But I found the time to write this chapter for you guys :3 dont you feel special now. **

**As some of you know, this IS the last chapter and the ending is fluffy and a little OOC but I wanted THIS to AT LEAST end fluffly, like a bunny rabbit  
()() ****  
(o.o)  
****(__)  
who hates bunnies?! lol**

**Well I'd just LOVE to thank each and every one of you for reading this and reviewing. I loved reading all your reviews, they all made me smile and always made my day, I just hope that this ending doesnt disappoint you and I'm sorry it has to be such a quick end, but I left it with an open ending so you can decide whether or not they went on hehe.**

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"House," She breathed out in disbelief.

The steam from around him seemed to fly out of the room as he stood at the doorway of the bathroom. His chest was moist and water dripped from his ebony hair. As a drop of water fell from his hair down his cheek her eyes shimmered with hope and she looked at him as if he were a great angel. A small smile formed on her lips as her heart began to swell with happiness. Her smile soon faded and she frowned sadly. She shook her head as she reached out to touch him gently.

"No," She said as tears began to fall from her eyes and she shook her head more vigorously. "This isn't real, it can't be," She cried as a stream slid down her cheeks. "You left, you're in Japan. You-- This is just a hallucination." Her hand reached his chest and she felt the warm moist that seemed to stain it. She looked into his eyes and saw the distance and pity that laid in it. "Greg," She let out softly as a small smile returned to her lips. Tears continued to fall uncontrollably as she reached out to touch his face caringly. "Please be real," She begged quietly to herself as she took a step closer to him. She began to caress his rough cheek softly and felt him lean into her loving touch.

"Who's this?" Cuddy's joy was soon obliterated when her attention was turned to a woman who stood next to House in nothing but a skimp little towel. She put an arm around House's neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

House and Cuddy's eyes met. Cuddy could see the solemn look that seemed to linger in his rich blue eyes. House saw the look of hurt and pain that floated in hers. Both were so broken and they seemed to be cracking more every second.

"My old boss," House finally spoke emotionlessly as he refused to break eye contact with the woman of had broken his heart almost two months ago.

His words and his voice filled Cuddy's heart with joy, albeit it wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear from him after all this time, but it was instantly pulled away as she looked at the woman who seemed to be attached to House. She realized they were both barely clothed and just came out of the shower, which only meant one thing. There was a lump in her throat and she suddenly lost the power to speak.

"Oh, this is her," The woman looked in disdain as she looked at Cuddy with disgust. "Well I'll be waiting, better make this quick."

Cuddy's heart sunk when she saw the woman kiss House's cheek before heading towards his bedroom. Did he really have a girlfriend? She looked at him sadly and he noticed it. She stood frozen as he examined her and something caught his eye. On her finger was a tan line and House realized a beautiful, diamond ring was missing on her elegant finger. Before he could speak, Cuddy read his mind and answered his question quickly.

"Lucas and I broke up yesterday. I uh," She let out a small, weak and almost sad smile. "I was going to surprise him at home and make him lunch when I caught him about to cheat on me with the wedding planner, not for the first time apparently and, worse, with Rachel with him so, one thing led to another and we have a civil, neutral break up." She spoke unsurely with little pride.

"Oh," He voiced out carelessly as he hid his own happiness, but it soon went away as he realized that he still wasn't the kind of man Cuddy was looking for, as far as he knew.

They stood in awkward silence for a moment. As if time had frozen, they stood there glued to their spots both waiting for the other to speak. They felt so lonely in each other's presence as the silence in gulfed them into a vortex of fear and concern. House opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by his front door opening once more to reveal his best friend coming in.

"Hey Cuddy, sorry I'm late I--," Wilson stopped when he spotted House standing in the apartment half naked. "House," He smiled surprised. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in--."

"Missed my flight," House interrupted. "The cheapest ticket made me wait two months and I thought I could survive two months in this hell town known as Princeton."

"Greg, are you almost done?" The female's voice drifted from his bedroom. "You only have an hour left." She announced.

"Who was--," Wilson trailed off confused and he saw Cuddy turn and look at him hurt and angered, did she believe that he had set her up for all this just to prove some point?

"I better get going," Cuddy quickly spoke. "I guess you don't need help packing anymore Wilson," She looked at both men sadly, with her brows furrowed closely. She picked up her purse and rushed out the door quickly with little to no pride left before either men to voice out a word.

Wilson turned to House in a bit of puzzlement and House looked at his friend deadpanned. "Hooker," He explained simply and got a nod of understanding from his friend.

Wilson shook his head slowly and looked at House with disappointment. "You know what she thinks right?" He asked. He went on before House had a chance to answer. "She thinks that's your girlfriend, that you moved on and she thinks that I set her up for this. That I knew you were here and sleeping with some other woman and you didn't bother to tell her she was just some hooker who was going to leave soon."

"Why does it matter?" House asked as he furrowed his brows with a mixture of anger and annoyance. He had already paid the woman in his room and he only had an hour left, now Wilson was wasting it by giving him a lecture. "Can we continue this later, if you haven't noticed I'm a little busy?"

"By the time later comes around, Cuddy could be passed out drunk, an easy target for any rapist roaming the town for a vulnerable victim," Wilson stated and knew immediately that he had caught House's attention. "She broke up with Lucas and came to my house and cried," He paused when he saw House's expression sadden. "But she wasn't crying about Lucas she was crying because of you. I told her you were in Japan and she practically fell apart on the couch--," Wilson had gone on but House had stopped listening and walked away after Wilson said it wasn't about Lucas. "Where are you going?" Wilson asked as House opened his front door to leave.

"Out," House said in a cheery, normal voice as if nothing had happened. Before Wilson could interrogate him furthermore, House had limped off and was gone in the matter of seconds.

--

Cuddy stood in front of a bar, still contemplating whether or not she should enter after half an hour. It was well past 8 pm, she had called her nanny saying she had something important to do. She had decided to drive around town aimlessly for the past 7 hours. Once the sun had disappeared from sight she had come across a bar, which she had been tempted to enter many times but had always found the will to avoid it. Tonight, though, it seemed welcoming and it called to her telling her to come in and have a few drinks so for a moment every problem she has can disappear.

She placed her hand on the door handle and hesitated. Before she even opened the door slightly, she pulled away as her senses rushed back to her. What was she doing? She had a daughter at home and she couldn't just get drunk, especially over a petty little problem. She wasn't an alcoholic. She had self-control and she wasn't going to give into temptation damn it.

As she turned around to head back to her car she bumped into a creepy, disgusting looking man. He had a crooked smile, his hair was messy and over his eyes. He had a small bottle in his hand and it was very evident he was drunk. He wore a leather vest with no shirt, leather gloves and pants. His black boots were shiny and fairly large. Something about his appearance made Cuddy's defensive walls immediately stand tall.

"Sorry," She murmured quietly as she turned to walk around him. Her action was halted when she felt him grab her wrist and pull him towards her. "Can I help you?" She hid the hint of fear in her voice as his grip tightened.

"Why don't you go in, you look like you can use a drink or two? On me," He gave her a twisted smile and she pulled her arm way from him and took a big step back.

"No thank you," She gave a curt smile as once more tried to leave the scene, but he was insistent and blocked her path. "I don't need a drink; I need to get home to my daughter." She spoke in her administrative tone, though she didn't think it'd really help her here.

"When Billy says he's gonna get you a drink, it means you're going to drink." He spoke almost threateningly as he grabbed her wrist once more to scare her.

Cuddy's eyes grew large and she swallowed as he pulled her towards him. She struggled from his grip, but he painfully tightened it once more. Cuddy bit her lip not to scream in pain as she felt her wrist ready to snap. She was suddenly pushed forcefully against the brick wall of the building and before she could call for help, the man's hand was over her mouth.

"If you scream, that little daughter of yours is going to get paid a little visit from Billy and some friends." Billy smirked when he saw Cuddy's eyes widen larger in fear for her daughter and shook her head before closing her eyes forcefully trying not to cry.

He kept his hand over her mouth and kissed down her neck, though she continued to struggle and push him off. He said she couldn't scream, he didn't say anything about her fighting back. He pulled her off the wall and banged her harder on it, which made Cuddy bite to lip in pain. While she was weak he continued his job.

Cuddy tried to stay strong as she realized the inevitable was about to happen. The crass man was going to have his way with her whether she fought back or not. She felt his slimy lips against her skin and she wiggled, trying to get out of his grip. He made her feel dirty. His hands on her made her feel disgusting and used even though nothing had really happened yet. She wanted to cry, but found that she was incapable of doing so.

When she felt his touch suddenly disappear, she was a bit shocked and hesitated before she opened her eyes. As she did, she found House standing there in front of her with the man on the floor has he felt his bloody and, probably, broken nose. She wanted to jump for joy, but realized it wasn't over when the man stood up and attacked him.

"House," She yelled out concerned when she saw the man aim for his thigh.

She was ready to run to his side the second he fell to the ground, but instead she saw him use his cane and hit the man in the face. She watched as they continued to tussle. Billy had thrown in a few good punches, but kept aiming for his leg and House kept hitting him with his cane every time he got close, until the drunken man took the cane from House and threw it aside. Before he could give the fatal blow to House, another larger man stepped him and kept Billy away from Greg. The larger man shooed Billy away and threw him out of the parking area.

"Thanks Mike," Greg spoke as he picked his cane up and limped up to the man in a black shirt and brown pants.

"No problem G and if that guy comes back around tell me," House nodded and the large man went back into the bar.

House came to Cuddy's aid as she soon felt the pain that Billy had caused her. She had forgotten about it for a moment as she watched House fight for her, but now the pain was coursing to her body and she stopped herself from screaming. House helped Cuddy to her car and sat her down while he stayed on the outside and examined her.

"How bad did he hurt you?" House asked her seriously as searched her body for any bruises or wounds the son of the bitch could have caused. When he saw none he faced her and furrowed his brows in concern. "Are you okay?"

Cuddy let out a small smile as she nodded slowly. She put a hand on his cheek and nonverbally asking if he was alright. He nodded in her hand, which caused his scruff to graze her hand. She enjoyed the feeling and her smile widened.

House cleared his throat and pulled away abruptly as his defensive walls quickly grew. He looked up hesitantly into Cuddy's eyes and saw a mixture of confusion and hurt. He sighed, but refused to take his walls down. They sat there silently and awkwardly, as they did in the apartment, but this time it felt much longer.

"So," Cuddy decided to break the silence. "When do you have to leave?" She failed to hide the sadness in her voice, but she was able to hold back the tears that she felt were about to form in her eyes.

"I don't know," House confessed. "I never bought another ticket; I'm working at Princeton General right." He saw Cuddy look up at him and her eyes seemed to sparkle in the moonlight. She wanted him to go on, but he wasn't sure how far he'd open up. "I hesitated the first time," He looked away. "I never missed my flight, not on accident at least."

Cuddy bit back a smile as she looked into his deep blue eyes. "So, you're here to stay?" She asked hopefully as a tear escaped and rolled down the side of her cheek. Fortunately for her, House missed it.

He merely shrugged at her question, not sure how to answer. After what Wilson told him, he didn't want to give her hope if it didn't work at PG and he'd have to leave, but he didn't want to say no and hurt her more than she already was. "I guess for now," He decided and saw a shimmer of faith shine in her eyes.

They sat in silence for a moment, before Cuddy looked at him sadly. "Well I better go now, it's almost nine and then I'll have to pay my nanny over time," She joked dryly. Cuddy saw House smirk as he got up slowly as he stayed cautious of the pain in his leg. "Can you come with me?" She asked before he could leave. He turned and cocked his brow at her curiously. "The guy might follow me and well, you saw how well I dealt with it the first time."

"Sure," House replied simply before he cleared his throat and headed back to his motorcycle to follow Cuddy home.

The drive was lonely and Cuddy kept an eye on House as he followed her home. She couldn't help but smile when she saw that he wasn't going anywhere. House looked around every once in a while to make sure no one was following them and he kept a good distance, not to far not to close so Cuddy would still feel safe. Cuddy parked in her driveway while House parked by the curb. She closed her eyes and hoped he'd get off the bike and walk her to the door, when she opened her eyes her wish was granted and next to her was House.

"Planning on sleeping in the car tonight?" He asked jokily as he held her door open for her. "Come on, Mowgli probably wondering where her crazy mother went."

Cuddy nodded as she got out of the car. She and House walked into her home and she dismissed her nanny before paying her. She took Rachel and put her to bed with House following behind. He looked out the window several times to make sure that no one was outside while Cuddy said goodnight to Rachel. House couldn't help but admire the scene in front of him. He had grown attached to the child, and missed her a bit the past two months.

Once Rachel was sound asleep the duo headed towards the door to say goodnight. They both stood at the door quietly, once more, not wanting to break the small moment that was passing between them. They could hear the crickets chirping as they the door stay opened and the moon shined through it.

"I better go," House said ruefully after a few more seconds. "Wilson probably finished my time with that hooker and you know how messy Wilson gets." He attempted to lighten the mood and Cuddy suddenly looked at him with wide eyes.

"She was a hooker?" She gave a small smile, completely ignoring the joke about their close friend. "I thought she was--."

"Nope," He confirmed quickly and saw a smile settle upon Cuddy's luscious pink lips at the information he had just told her. He was still single and had yet to move on, that meant something to her.

"Will you be coming back to Plainsboro?" She suddenly remembered. "The board sure misses all the mischief you caused and I'm really bored nowadays since everyone is on their best behavior and no one is around to challenge me." She added half heartedly.

"Awe, you missed me, I feel touched," House smirked. "Okay, when do I start?" He asked and saw Cuddy look up at him lovingly as she flashed him a toothy smile.

"Great, well you can start Monday. I better warn the board that the infamous trouble maker is coming back," They shared a soft chuckle. "It's really good to have you back House." She told him sincerely. "It really has been different not having you around and I'm glad you're still here," She let out quietly as she quietly diverted her gaze.

House hid his small smile and nodded curtly. "Good to be back," He let out just as quietly as she did. "Goodnight," He gave another nod as he turned to leave.

"Goodnight," She almost whispered as he began to venture down her porch. She watched him and it saddened her to watch him leave, but she was happy to know he wasn't really going anywhere.

Suddenly House stopped in his tracks and limped back up to her, which caused her to look at him curiously. He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. "You're life was so perfect while I was gone, picture perfect. Why would you want me back in it, especially if I'm so dysfunctional?" He asked with a sly, knowing smile.

Cuddy just gave him a toothy grin and gave a soft chuckle as she answered him simply. "Well, I guess the heart wants what the heart wants." She saw him smirk and she returned it with her own loving smile. "Goodnight House."

House let out a soft breath as his smirk turned into a smile, which he immediately bit back. "Goodnight Cuddy," He gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, before turning to make his way back down her porch.

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**A/N: So did you like the fluff :3 is it as good as a bunny rabbit? Now I promised you all I'd have a quick poll before I official end it so here it is**

**Do you guys want me to add one more SMUT chapter**

**or**

**Do you want it to end like this fluffy creature**

**It'll be majority rules of course. **

**I hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I had fun writing and reading your reviews. You are all to kind and again thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed. You are all great and wonderful and I just love hearing from you guys so thank you so much!!! This story is as good as it is because of all your encouragement and everything so yeah Thanks lol.**

**Even if you're not going to vote, please do leave a exit review. ^^ And thank you so much for reading this story.**

-Jess V


	11. What the Heart Wants

**Disclaimer: I do not House**

**A/N: First off I'd like to APOLOGIZE for the SUPER long delay! OMIGOSH you have NO idea how hecktic life got, especially now that my computer crashed. But thankfully I have a laptop now, both me and my mom got our own so no more fighting.**

**Secondly, this is COMPLETELY and UTTERLY un-beta ed. So sorry!!! I would have edited it if I had the time, but I dont because its late and I'm about to beta another story. LOL. If I have time, probably tomorrow if my teachers dont decide to give us A TON of homework, I will beta it and replace this chapter but for now.... it'll have to wait. SORRY!! I hope you all like it though, this is what you asked for.**

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Cuddy couldn't hold back the smile that had formed on her face. She touched her cheek gently and closed her eyes to relive the moment. His soft, warm lips upon her ivory, smooth skin felt so good. The spark was there no matter how plain the kiss was.

With a deep, dreamy sigh, Cuddy turned stepped back slowly to close the door. Before it could click shut, the door flew open and hit her wall with a loud bang. She open her eyes in time to feel herself get pushed up against the wall and feel the soft lips that had left an internal mark on her cheek press up against her lips. The small spark that had occurred when he kissed her cheek suddenly turned into a bolt of lightning that ran up and down her spine.

House wrapped his arms around her tiny frame, which brought her up closer to him as he continued to devour her. He felt her kiss him back with as much force and fervor as he had. The kiss grew deeper the longer they seemed to linger. Their sudden heat of passion exploded into a flame of desire.

A low moan escaped Cuddy's lips as House began to nip his way to her neck and began sucking on it hungrily to leave his mark. Cuddy let out a soft squeal when she felt House bite her lightly and she wrapped her arms around his neck forcing him closer to her neck. Instead of continuing this job, like Cuddy had wanted, House pulled away and looked at her as he struggled to catch his breath. She looked up at him in confusion, but it went away when she saw him smile before taking her off the wall and closing the door.

After he caught his breath, House dove back down to meet Cuddy's lips once more. He then began to lead her backwards as they made their way to her bedroom. They walked slowly and carefully as they stripped each other of their clothes.

Cuddy slowly pushed House's leather jacket off him as he began to work on her neck once more. She felt him grab the hem of her shirt and pulled away momentarily to take it off, but he went right back down to business after discarding it on the floor. Her heart skipped a beat when she felt his warm, rough - yet at the same time soft – hands slide down her sides to feel around her curves.

House went back up to his lover's lips and claimed them once more as they continued to stagger backwards, grabbing onto whatever they could to prevent themselves from falling. He felt Cuddy's hands grab his black shirt roughly and throw it over his head before letting it carelessly drop where ever it may land. Immediately, her hands reached for his jean button and she forcefully opened it. He helped her by kicking it off as they got closer and closer to the room.

Breathing suddenly began more difficult as House continued to kiss her feverishly. She let out a soft moan when she felt House unbutton her pants and slipped them off her demandingly. With a soft thump, Cuddy found herself once more pinned to a door. The burning desire in her began to grow stronger and stronger as House began to move more south towards her breasts. She struggled to open her eyes, but was unsuccessful and she blindly reached for her door handle. Once she found it, she turned it quickly causing both of them to almost fall into her room.

Shutting the door behind him, House began to push Cuddy towards her bed where she fell carelessly and he took in her body. He wanted to memorize every curve and dip on her body. He saw a slightly annoyed expression appear on her face as he forced her to wait a bit longer as his eyes continued to linger.

Impatience getting the best of her, Cuddy pulled House down to meet her. He fell on top of her and she laid back accordingly as he hovered over her body, taking it in once more. She brought him back to the present and what they were doing by pulling his lips down to meet hers. She slipped her tongue in and both their tongues began to battle for dominance. She let out a sudden gasp when she felt House slip one of his hands into her thong and began to rub it sensuously. She began to whimper pleasurably when he pressed her clit harder.

House began to kiss down her body and smirked at his effect on her. He began to kiss the top of her breasts and admired them before he lifted her slightly to take off her bra. He immediately began to kiss and suck her nipple while massaging the other one to make sure it was fully erect. He heard her let out a soft scream of ecstasy as he made sure Patty and Selma were well taken care of.

After House had finished his work with her breasts, Cuddy was able to breath, but she hadn't realized she was holding it in till that moment. She soon found out that House wasn't done with her when she felt him stick two fingers in her core. She let out a yelp and sighed happily as House smiled down at her and began to kiss her once more. She felt him pump his fingers in her and she could no longer open her eyes. She wanted him and she wanted him now.

Feeling Cuddy get wetter and hotter made House want her even more and made his erection harder than it was – if that was possible. He continued to pump her until he was sure she was good and ready for him. When he felt her slowly begin to tighten around his fingers his quickly pulled out and saw Cuddy struggle to glare at him. He chuckled amusingly as he took his sweet time taking off her soaking wet thong. She didn't waste any time though when she kicked off his boxers quickly, careful of his leg.

"Are you sure you want this?" House asked her caringly. He wanted to take her there and then, but he knew he had attacked her and wanted to make sure she wanted this just as much as he wanted it. They shared a moment with each other, looking deeply into the other's eyes, and she nodded slowly was a smile.

When she felt him slowly insert his hard member into her oozing core, she let out a long, loud cry. Once he was in, she felt him stop as he waited for her to adjust to his size. She bit her lip to stop herself from crying out and as soon as House felt her loosen up, he began to pull in and out of her in a painfully slow pace. Cuddy began to whimper softly, wanting him to go faster but at the same time she enjoyed his passion and love. She began to match his rhythm once he began to go faster, but he still kept a steady pace. Cuddy moaned happily when she realized their impulse of sex suddenly became slow and zealous love making.

After a few moments of bliss, they began to pick up their pace and their moans and groans grew louder and more joyous. They felt the oxygen shorten as they both raced to their climax. Finally, after a few more thrusts they fell over the edge together and House continued to pump in and out of her until they landed safely at the bottom of the cliff.

Cuddy hung onto House's body for dear life as they both tried to recover from the ecstasy. House snuggled into her neck and took in her scent before kissing her softly causing Cuddy to nuzzle into his touch.

After a few moments of being together, Cuddy finally let go of House and he rolled next to her. She scooted over next to him and laid her head restfully on his chest with her eyes closed and a smile plastered on her face.

"Goodnight Cuddy," She heard him say softly.

"Goodnight House," She whispered back as she closed her eyes. Finally, the heart got what it always wanted.

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**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone again for reading and reviewing. All of you that added me to your favorites or alert thank you so much, reading all your review and seeing all those adds were really, very encouraging and it really made my day. Now I have a secret that I was able to keep from MOST of you....**

**I am thinking about writing a sequel to this story, I want to know though if you guys are up for it? Do you think I should write more, like how House and Cuddy deal with this or do you want to decide yourselves.**

**If you guys dont want me to write the sequel its fine, just sayin that the offer is up there. LOL.**

**Well this is officially the final chapter of THIS story, so please leave an exit review and again thank you all so much fo reading. I luv you all!**

**Oh and if anyone wants to chat/email me just go on my page, at the top are all my emails/chat users. lol**

-Jess V


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